THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS (1993)

Jack Skellington is the most popular, the most handsome and the tallest citizen of Halloween Town.  Notice I didn’t say smartest.  Cuz dat motherfucker is dmub!  One day, Halloween, to be exact, Jack is super sad and goes for a stroll in the woods.  Being a simpleton, Jack gets lost and comes across some strange looking trees.  Each one has a differently decorated door on it.  Jack investigates the tree decorated with the image of a decorated tree on it.  Soon, Jack is in Christmas Town and totally losing his shit over the snow and bright colours.  Back in Halloween Town, he devises a plan to bring the joy of Christmas Town to Halloween Town…by kidnapping Sandy Claws.  I told you he was an idiot.

The story might be silly, but the presentation of the story is fucking amazing!  I love the unholy reindeer baby mice out of this movie and have seen it around 14 million times.  Probably doesn’t hurt that I identify as Goth and I love the fuck out of Oingo Boingo.  And Tim Burton and Catherine O’Hara and Halloween and Chris Sarandon and Musicals and stop-motion animation.  Fuuuuck, THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS is awesome.  The only legitimate complaint I have about it, is it’s too short.  76 minutes just isn’t long enough.

My two favorite songs are "What's This?" and "This Is Halloween".

FRIGHT NIGHT (2011)

If this FRIGHT NIGHT was the first FRIGHT NIGHT ever made, nobody would be clamoring for a remake...come to think of it, I can't remember anybody clamoring for a remake to begin with! Oh well, the damage is done so let's give it a shot and see what they've done. Who knows, maybe it's awesome...

...it's not. The film opens with a vampire killing a family. The scene is so vague and brief that I could barely even register what was happening. Next we are introduced to Charley Brewster, an average teen with an unaveragely pretty girlfriend (well at least that's one improvement over the original!). Charley's normal life is turned upside down when his friend, Evil Ed, informs him that his new neighbor is a vampire...already, this movie is diverging so much from the original that it might as well just be a completely new story all together.  Anyway, so once Charley discovers his neighbor is a vampire, he contacts a local celebrity, Peter Vincent, for help. Peter is no longer a funny, pathetic and lovable horror movie host. Instead, he's a cocky magician that comes off like a bizarre lovechild of Criss Angel and Russell Brand. Ugh, you know what? Who fucking cares? As a remake FRIGHT NIGHT (2011) is garbage, but as a stand alone vampire film it's OK.

The whole thing comes off more like an episode of a TV show than it does a movie. Gone are the enjoyable characters from the original, instead they've been replaced with forgettable characters. Gone are the awesome actors that brought those characters to life, instead they've been replaced with actors that seem to be happy with just turning in an passable performance. Gone are the awesome special effects, instead they've been replaced with middle-of-the-road CGI. Gone is the tightly written script that masterfully mixed horror and campy humor, instead it's been replace with a generic script that masterfully mixes boredom and light blasphemy.

Wow. This review ended up a little more negative than I intended it to be, but I really love the original FRIGHT NIGHT and even though this remake wasn't too bad, it does not deserve to be called FRIGHT NIGHT.  It should have just been a completely different thing.

Part 1 - Fright Night (1985)
Part 2 - Fright Night Part 2 (1988)
Remake 2 - Fright Night 2 (2013)

Look at that chick's face.