Sunday, April 24, 2011
SEX IS ZERO 2 (2007)
The dweeb from the first movie is still in school and even though he's a complete dork he has yet another hot girlfriend! She's beautiful, has a great personality and is completely dedicated to him, but her mother hates him and wants to set her daughter up with a handsome, successful lawyer instead. The other stories revolve around the guys training for a MMA tournament and the girls training for the swimming championship...there's also a new sexy swim coach that catches the eye of the guy with the psychotic girlfriend. That story was actually funny. On the depressing side of things, you have an attempted suicide, a really sad breakup scene and the even sadder accidental meeting afterwards.
Overall, a fun movie and I think the best improvement over the original was the new girl. The older girl was beautiful, but I really liked this girl's character and that added a new dynamic to the film: me actually caring what happened to the characters. One thing I did find disturbing was the repeated occurrence of guys sticking stuff up other guy's buttholes. What the fuck?
Part 1 - Sex Is Zero (2002)
Saturday, April 23, 2011
THE PERFECT STORM (2000)
When it comes to pure Hollywoodized excessively sentimental unicornshit, it
doesn't get much sappier than THE PERFECT STORM. From the very beginning of
the movie, the musical score was swelling and each character introduced was
even more faultless and contrived than the last one. By the 15-minute mark I
actually started profusely lactating what appeared (and tasted) to be
strawberry milk! True story. Speaking of true stories, this movie was based on
a true story. I've done zero minutes of research, but I'm pretty goddamn sure
that most of the bullshit in this movie was bullshit. Like when the fishing
boat did a barrel roll and survived or the scene were the boat was damn near
vertical and George Clooney was still standing. I doubt that happened
in real life.
That said, this movie was a lot of fun to laugh at. Everybody had horrible New
England accents, Marky Mark and George Clooney had dueling whiskers (I even
hoped, I mean, thought they were going to kiss at one point), people risked
their lives left and right to save others, nonstop swelling music, tons of
crying, cliches on top of cliches, painful dialogue and the best part? The
failed attempt to make the audience give a fuck about the crew of the boat. I
loved how each one was portrayed to be so pure of heart and saintly that they
made
Norman Borlaug look
like fucking Hitler, but yet they were still selfish enough to go fishing
after being warned repeatedly not to do so and then, even after looking
at the weather bulletin, they vote to drive through the storm! That
aspect right there removes any emotional connection that I might have actually
had to the characters...no matter how immaculate they each were. I guess
God just wanted his angels back in Heaven.
Check it out with some friends and laugh.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
THE LAST LOVECRAFT: RELIC OF CTHULHU (2009)
For a movie with probably a smaller budget than a episode of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", this movie is better than expected and the writing is good. Not great, but good. I was kinda disappointed in the lack of a big showdown fight and very disappointed in the absence of a cute female love interest, especially since this dude is the last living descendant of Lovecraft then it would be wise if the filmmakers maybe added a potential girlfriend to help carry on the bloodline (and the sequels). Also, it would add an extra layer to the story.
Complaints aside, I enjoyed the movie and even though I would never watch it again, I am interested in seeing a sequel if they make one. At only 78 minutes it's an easy, fun watch. If you like stuff like Buffy and Lovecraft then you'll be amused.
Friday, April 15, 2011
MYSTERY STREET (1950)
The story was well-written (it was even nominated for an Oscar), but the most surprising thing to me about the film is how wonderful Ricardo Montalban was. I've always known him to be a good actor, but he was really good here portraying the driven detective who starts to have internal doubts about the case. A lot of what goes on with his character is unspoken and Ricardo does an excellent job relaying all of that to the viewer. I kept finding myself wishing that they'd made an entire series of these crime dramas centered around his character.
As far as film noir goes MYSTERY STREET isn't a dark film filled with deep shadows. It's really just more of a mystery/crime drama, but who's cares? It's a great film and it would make an excellent double feature with T-MEN.