DANTE'S PEAK (1997)

Volcanologist Pierce Brosnan is sent to do a routine investigation on a gigantic dormant volcano somewhere up in a northwestern state. Nestled down below this sleeping giant is the peaceful town of Dante's Peak.  Aww. Once he takes a few readings, Pierce starts to get worried and wants to evacuate the town, BUT THEY JUST WON'T LISTEN!!!! Why? Whyyyy?!!! Anyway, his team shows up and they do some more investigating in the daytime, but once the sun drops...it's time for ol' Pierce to try and pierce Mayor Linda Hamilton's meat curtains, if you know what I'm saying. Nudge nudge wink wink. Say no more! A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat, eh? Time passes and things look pretty grim.  A few people start to listen, but by then it's too damn late and everything just blows the fuck up.

DANTE'S PEAK was in direct competition with VOLCANO for the "Best Volcano Disaster Movie of 1997" Award and I'm voting for DANTE'S PEAK. The special effects on VOLCANO looked kinda crappy (as did the story), but here on DANTE'S PEAK, things look impressive (for the time) and the story is actually good. In fact, I would've been fine if the film had been even longer! I really enjoyed the build up scenes.  Hamilton and Brosnan have good onscreen chemistry, the supporting cast is interesting and the town/scenery is gorgeous. Oh my god, I would love to live somewhere as beautiful as the town in this movie.

But not everything is perfect...even though the tone of the movie is serious there's plenty to laugh about and I certainly did. The two most ridiculous scenes, without a doubt, have to be the grandma in the lake-turned-to-acid scene and the truck successfully driving through lava scene. Neither one of them made a lick of fucking sense, but their corniness just makes the movie more enjoyable.  It's awesome!

DANTE'S PEAK is not the greatest disaster movie ever, but it's a lot of fun to revisit every so often...even if the cute skinny dipper never got naked.  Boo!!!

A few post-review questions... 1) what's up with that scream when the dude falls in the river?  2) what's up with that one guys hair?!

THE FINAL DESTINATION (2009)

If this film had been the first FINAL DESTINATION movie...there wouldn't be a franchise right now. Four completely forgettable dorks go to a race car track. One has a premonition about some poorly rendered CG race cars flying into the stands and exploding into cable channel quality CG flames. The dude freaks and runs out of the stands taking various people with him. They're all saved, blah, blah, blah. Death's design.

I'm sure the makers of this film meant well, but the movie looks fucking terrible. The special effects are so bad you can actually tell when something is about to happen before it happens. That's unacceptable. As entertainment, FD4 is passable (to laugh at), but that's really it. The kills are boring, the characters I wanted to murder myself, the special effects suck and there's absolutely nothing added to the FD story. Even the one brief topless scene was a yawner.

Only worth watching if you are really, really bored.

Part 1 - Final Destination (2000)
Part 2 - Final Destination 2 (2003)
Part 3 - Final Destination 3 (2006)
Part 5 - Final Destination 5 (2011)

This shot was the highlight of the movie.

FINAL DESTINATION 3 (2006)

The series hit the wall a little with this one. Instead of an airplane crash or an awesome highway pile up, we get a lame looking roller coaster crash. On the bright side, the girl who has the premonition and saves everybody is hot. I guess they learned their lesson when they killed off the hottest girl at the beginning of the second film. Anyway, she sees everybody dying and freaks out. Other people miss the ride because of her freakout, which ends up saving their lives.  Naturally, Death comes looking for them.

Everything you would expect happens.  The deaths are amusing, but the entire thing kinda was not as much fun as Part 2. Maybe that's just me or maybe it's because there was only two main characters whereas in Part 2 the entire group hung out a lot together at the same time and it kept you guessing as to who was going to die next. This time around the two leads went around visiting people right about the time that they died. That's weak and leads to zero suspense. But whatever, it's still a entertaining watch and Mary Elizabeth Winstead is nice to look at.

Worth a viewing, but it's nothing to get overly excited about. Oh yea, here's the topless chick at the tanning salon.

Part 1 - Final Destination (2000)
Part 2 - Final Destination 2 (2003)
Part 4 - The Final Destination (2009)
Part 5 - Final Destination 5 (2011)

Fate of the two survivors from Part 2.