Tuesday, January 3, 2012

FINAL DESTINATION 5 (2011)

A group of tiresome douchers are on a bus going to a company function. One of the douchers has a vision of everybody dying in a CG rendered disaster (as far as the series' disaster visions goes I rate this one as being better than 1, 3 and 4's but nowhere even close to the badassness of 2). Naturally, he does the standard freakout bullshit and ends up saving a few people, but afterwards they start dying in bizarre accidents.

The trailer lead me to believe that the on top of all the wacky Death killing people in MacGyver-ish ways that the people on Death's list discovered that if they kill an substitute human that they will be skipped over. Yeah, that new dynamic is touched on, but just barely and not at all in the race-against-time way I was expecting.

I really wanted to like this movie, especially after that silly Part 4, but while it was better than 4, the whole thing was boring! I mean come on, I really don't need to hear those fucking rules all over again. It's torture.

Zero tits, CG blood, annoying characters you wanted to punch in the face, failed humor, rehashed story. Honestly, you'd be better off watching Part 2 again instead of this autopiloted snoozer.

Part 1 - Final Destination
Part 2 - Final Destination 2
Part 3 - Final Destination 3
Part 4 - The Final Destination

Jesus Buttfuqin Christ she's hot.

Don't get too excited. This is as close to topless as she gets.