Tuesday, August 16, 2011

VOLCANO (1997)

You like volcanoes? You like the sound of Tommy Lee Jones' voice barking orders nonstop? You like humans coming together and being heroic as fuck?  Well, have I got the film for you!

Some strange stuff is going on in downtown Los Angeles...lake temperature up, underground workers mysteriously getting burned to death, dogs and cats living together, etc. The scientists try to warn them, but they just won't listen!!! So the next morning, the city's disaster management guy, Tommy Lee Jones, is driving to work when suddenly lava starts spewing out of the La Brea Tar Pits. Being the quick thinker that he is, Jones jumps out of his whip and starts saving lives. Emergency crew show up and eventually they get the situation under control only to discover that a quick moving lava flow is using an underground train tunnel and headed straight for the city's major hospital.

If you don't take it too seriously, it's a good movie to laugh at.  Dated special effects, forced emotional music, zero character depth, made-for-TV feel, hilarious dialogue, acting that borders on overacting, good pace, daughter that might just be the most helpless character in disaster movie history.  The opening build-up portion was easily the best part of the movie.  Unfortunately, it was too short.

VOLCANO is a fun guilty pleasure.

VOLCANO drinking game: anytime somebody does something heroic, anytime somebody says "Oh my God" or the like, every time Tommy Lee Jones yells out an order, every time the firemen aim their fire hoses towards the middle of the lava flow instead of the leading edge, every time something doesn't melt when the lava hits it (streetlight poles are a good example), every time a dog barks at the lava and every time Tommy Lee Jones's daughter just stands there frozen like a brain dead idiot.