THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE (1982)

A group of 20-something year-old teenage girls get together for a slumber party.  It's all fun and games and rizzing with boys...until the madman with the giant drill crashes the party!

I don't know if it's because THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE features both a female director and a female writer, but it definitely has a different feel to it than most 80's slasher comedies.  One thing (and this is a big positive in my book) is there's more character development than usual.  Personally, my favorite part of the film is the slumber party scenes before the killer goes full rampage...the girls are simply chatting away, the boys are sneaking around outside and the new girl in school (who lives next door with her hilarious little sister who pretty much steals the show) is getting all jelly that she's not at the party.  It's actually a fun film, then the killer shows up and...meh.  Luckily though, his kills are spaced out and mildly entertaining.

Below average amount of blood, zero gore, peeping toms, naked chicks with 80's bodies, flexible fire poker, hand chopped off, high school shower scene, a plateful of Twinkies, poor lighting, how to make Kool-Aid, Playgirl magazine, Maui Wowie, laughably bad dialogue, a horrendous peephole installation, amazing 80's fashions, a cold wiener to the face.

Even after a dozen viewings (or more) over the years, I still enjoy THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE for it's simplicity and goofy qualities.  If you have a good sense of humor and love 80's slasher comedies then check it out!

Part 2 - Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)
Part 3 - Slumber Party Massacre III (1990)

"Emergency Drill Procedures"

MIDNIGHT INTRUDERS (1973)

Lesson to future filmmakers: Opening a movie with nearly six minutes worth of airplane footage spliced together with horribly photographed scenes of two unattractive people having unenthusiastic sex is never a good idea.  Especially when your film only clocks in at 58:15 (when the closing credits start rolling).

After the unbelievably slow opening (I can only guess that at one point there was hardcore sex scenes that were later removed to make this film), the loving couple talk and then drive to the airport.  The husband leaves and the wife goes home.  Her lover comes over and they fuck with the excitement of two people overdosing on Ambien.  But then her husband comes home, quickly followed by two drug-crazed psychopaths.  Things get weird, but not too weird.

The basic idea for MIDNIGHT INTRUDERS is interesting (I would love to see a well-made reimagining of it where the returning husband is attacked in the garage by the psychopaths and then discovers his wife is cheating on him as he's shoved inside), but the whole film is too uneven to be truly enjoyable.  It really does seem like filler scenes from an early 70's porno.

Uneven pace, two naked females, funny voice over work that barely even matches the people's mouths...if at all (I loved it when the wife and the lover were fucking and the dude proclaims "You sure do have a nice ass, lady!"), one woman with massive hair, continuity errors, wildly uneven photography (some of it was straight up terrible and then other shots were impressive), uneven lighting, a foot massage, clothed showering, 70's interior design, cameraman's shadow multiple times, uneven music, two surprisingly good scenes back-to-back (the bedroom fight and then the tunnel chase...which was the highlight of the film), dumb ending.

It'd be easy for me to crap all over MIDNIGHT INTRUDERS and say it was a terrible film, but honestly, it wasn't that bad.  I would love to learn about the making of it.  I have no idea who, but there were a few people involved that had talent.

Recommended for curious film explorers only.

LUST IN THE DUST (1985)

Under the "blistering, burning, blazing, scorching, roasting, toasting, baking, boiling, broiling, steaming, searing, sizzling, grilling, smoldering, very hot New Mexico sun" lays the small settlement of Chile Verde.  It's not much to look at.  Just a bar, a few buildings, an outdoor shower and a gate where they lynch somebody every Saturday night, but travelers still come from all over...in search of gold!

One such traveler is Divine.  After being gang raped (off screen) by some outlaws (including Geoffrey Lewis, Woody Strode and Pedro Gonzalez Gonzalez!), she latches onto traveling gunslinger Tab Hunter.  Together they show up in Chile Verde.  Divine is looking to be a singer, but sadly only gets to sing one song (which is the highlight of the movie). Tab sticks around because he's looking for the secret treasure that is rumored to be hidden in Chile Verde.  Some of the others looking for the gold are local priest Cesar Romero, bar owner Lainie Kazan and local whore Gina Gallego.

Despite the sinful title, LUST IN THE DUST is surprisingly tame.  Yeah, the subject matter is rough and there's a lot of raunchy stuff talked about, but very little happens onscreen.  And that is the films biggest downfall.  It's too restrained.  As a straight Western, it's fairly entertaining and Tab Hunter plays a great cowboy, but there's too much goofy humor.  As a campy Western...there wasn't enough goofy humor.  I think it would have been a better film if it had been crazier...and with more of Divine singing.  Still, it's an entertaining low-budget time-waster with a surprising cast.