THE DEAD POOL (1988)

Harry's up to the same old, same old again: getting shot at nonstop, killing people, wrecking cars left and right, going to a funeral attended by Axl Rose and ol' girl from THE VIDEO DEAD, getting chased by a RC car carrying a bomb, getting yet another new partner, visiting his new partner in the hospital, shooting people with a harpoon...you know, the regular.  Unfortunately though by the fifth time around Harry's regular is getting pretty stale.  Once again there's a new serial killer in town and once again Harry finds him and kicks his ass...to death.  Along the way he has some minor adventures including romancing a local TV reporter (Patricia Clarkson), verbally sparing with a cranky horror movie director (Liam Neeson) and investigating the drug overdose of a painfully horrible rock star (Jim Carrey) who tortures us with a cheesy lip-synced version of "Welcome to the Jungle" complete with a knockoff Regan (from THE EXORCIST) mannequin.

It's kinda fitting that this fifth and final Dirty Harry movie opened up against the original DIE HARD.  Out with the old and in with the new I guess you could say.  The RC car chase scenes was unbelievable as hell, but still the highlight of an otherwise by-the-numbers movie.  THE DEAD POOL isn't a bad movie, just average.  It would have been nice to see Harry Callahan put out to pasture in something better than this.

Part 1 - Dirty Harry (1971)
Part 2 - Magnum Force (1973)
Part 3 - The Enforcer (1976)
Part 4 - Sudden Impact (1983)

A guy dressed up like Kurt Russell from THE THING wearing a TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE 2 shirt.

BATTLESHIP (2012)

Aliens in large spaceships land right smack dab in the middle of a Navy exercise off the coast of Hawaii and immediately put up a large force field that they can fire out of but nobody can fire into.  Stuff happens and only one ship, captained by a total fuck up, can save the day.

The main reason I watched BATTLESHIP is because it featured Tadanobu Asano, but despite the fact that he only had a minor role I still ended up walking away enjoying the film simply because it's so goddamn crazy.  Common sense, reality, intelligent story...all of that is thrown out the window in exchange for raw entertainment.  And it somehow works.  Funny opening scene, non-stop action, lens flare overdose, sound effects overdose, fat tits in a white t-shirt, pretty explosions, impressive special effects, aliens killing the fook out of humans, a chicken burrito, aliens that could totally kick our asses doing stupid shit, Liam Neeson, beautiful Hawaiian locations, cringefest dialogue, rock music montages and lots and lots of shooting and explosions.  Worth a watch while folding laundry.

THE GREY (2011)

A planeload of oil workers crashes somewhere way off in the Alaskan wilderness. There's only a handful of survivors. The weather outside is so cold that it makes your nuts clack together like poolballs, but their biggest concern is a huge pack of highly aggressive wolves that seem to have a hankerin' for human flesh.

I'm kinda torn about THE GREY. On the one hand, I really liked the serious tone of the film, the sadness in Liam's character and the filming style, but on the other hand...[SPOILERS!!!] that ending. What. The. Fuck? I really hated that ending. I know it was trying to be super dramatic or something, but I just found it lazy. Imagine if in ALIENS when Ripley goes to look for Newt and when the elevator doors open...the film ends. Or if in THE ROAD WARRIOR when Max leaves the compound and the marauders start chasing him...the film ends. Or, if in LICENSE TO DRIVE when Les has to drive his pregnant mother to the hospital...the film ends. That's exactly what I felt like watching THE GREY. You spend nearly two hours building up all this heavy tension for a final badass fight and...end credits. Fuck THE GREY. Also, why wasn't there any bears? That would have been awesome!

Strangely enough, even with that world class shitty ending ending I still recommend the film. Yeah, the guys do some dumb shit and the ending is garbage, but other than that I really enjoyed the film. The wolves were great and I loved watching them kill the shit out of humans.