NIGHTMARES (1983)

[Update 09/06/2021: Need to redo this review completely. Fix the screenshots also.]

Most likely trying to cash in on the popularity of CREEPSHOW, NIGHTMARES showcases four completely lame supernatural horror short stories...

1. "Terror in Topanga" Nope, it's not a horror story about the chick from "Boy Meets World" being reduced to pornography then has a evil elf set up shop in her vagina. Instead, it's about a woman going to a store late at night for a carton of cigarettes while there's a serial killer on the loose. Weak. Zero gore, zero tension, zero tits, very little blood. Complete boredom.

2. "Bishop of Battle" Nope, it's not a horror story about a the workers of a chainsaw factory called Bishop Chainsaw getting into a massive fight with zombies. Instead it's the extremely weak story about a dude who listens to Black Flag who gets into a fight with a video game and eventually sucked into the game itself. Silly. Zero blood, zero gore, zero tits, zero reason to give a fuck.

3. "The Benediction" Nope, it's not a gore soaked horror story about a gay priest/serial killer stalking the area around a early 1980's NYC gay bar called "The Benediction". Instead, we have Lance Henriksen completely wasted as a priest tormented on a desert road by a truck driven by a demon. Sounds cool, but it ain't. Not even close. I was so bored I wanted to slam my dick in a car door of an orange 1986 Ford Escort.

4. "Night of the Rat" Nope, it's not a pitch black horror-noir set in the early 1940's about a innocent grocery store worker in Berlin who is mistakenly fingered to be a rat by a local mafia that has strong ties to the SS. Instead, we get a family that hears strange noises at night and it ends up being a giant rat. What a surprise. Zero tension. Completely ridiculous.

Not only were all the stories weak and instantly forgettable, but there was nothing tying them together. I don't know what the back story is on this movie is, but it looks like they just had a bunch of crap laying around so they slapped it together to get a feature film length running time and just released it. Fuck it, they thought, CREEPSHOW was popular, so we should get enough suckers to watch it to recoup the cost.

THE GIRL WHO LEAPT THROUGH TIME (2006)

[Update 01/10/2021: Going to rewatch this and fix the review and replace the screenshots with better ones.]

Makoto is an average teenage girl until one day she accidentally gains the power to literally jump back in time. The farther she jumps, the further she goes back. At first she's very confused, but then starts to have fun and does all kinds of wacky stuff (ace the math test, sing karaoke with her friends for 10 hours, etc.) but then she realizes that all the jumping through time can mess stuff up so now it kinda gets like GROUNDHOG DAY where she has to get everything right. Things get even more complicated when...well, I ain't gonna tell you and ruin it for you, but I'll just say there's some romance shit involved and it's awesome.

Overall a very enjoyable time travel movie. Not as great as say BACK TO THE FUTURE, MY SASSY GIRL or CYBORG GIRL, but still a lot of fun to watch. I especially enjoyed the montage where she first gets her power. All the wrecking she does when she lands was hilarious: "How does somebody even fall like that?!"

In a strange turn of events I actually liked the English language audio better than the original Japanese one. Whoever did the English voice of Makoto did a amazing job. I also liked the music a lot. Very low key, but still moving.

Could have been a few minutes shorter to streamline things a bit, but still very much worth watching if you like anime or time travel.

Live-action version - Time Traveler: The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (2010)

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 4: THE DREAM MASTER (1988)

I think Part 4 is where the series became less about the story and more about Freddy simply running around killing people while popping off goofy one-liners.  And I'm okay with that.

The three survivors from from the last installment have moved on with their lives.  They're now in a normal high school with new friends...then the bad dreams start up again.  Oh fuck!  So quicker than you can say "Deep-fried Krueger gooch", Freddy is killing people in their dreams and making it look like natural causes or accidents.  Kristen (from Part 3, but played by another actress) knows it's that burnt-face pussy Freddy, but nobody will believe her.  Not that that even matters.

Anyway, Part 4 is alright.  The kills are entertaining, but the same can't be said for the new batch of victims.  They're a bland bunch: the nerd with asthma, the lean tough girl, the studly jock, the charismatic guy, the virginal main chick...yawn!!!  Halfway through the movie, I started missing the gay teenager with the old man body from Part 2!

A teenager turned into a roach, Robert Englund wearing a nurse uniform, a really cool scene in a movie theater where a character falls into the screen, the infamous soul pizza, two super fast topless shots, a dog pissing fire, a U2 poster, a Whitesnake poster) one shot where there is at least 5 crew members onscreen, lame soundtrack, 80's fashions, boring ending.

For a soulless sequel ANOES4 is watchable.  I know I sound like I hate this movie, but I've probably seen this movie like 25 times and I could easily watch it again right now and enjoy it.

Part 1 - A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Part 2 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)
Part 3 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
Part 5 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989)
Part 6 - Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)
Part 7 - Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)
Freddy vs Jason (2003)
Remake 1 - A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

Is that the entire film crew?!