Saturday, March 12, 2011

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET: THE DREAM CHILD (1989)

Once again, the makers of the Freddy series prove they have absolutely no idea what the audience wants.  We want badass kills that'll make you jump up and yell "Oh, shit!!!", Freddy acting like a total asshole, hot naked chicks and some hot naked dudes (gotta be fair to everybody), a couple of good laughs, lots of scares, awesome photography, badass music, creepy atmosphere, quick pace, easy to follow story, sexy clothes...I could go on, but you get the idea.  Unfortunately, none of that stuff happens in ANOES5.

The two survivors from Part 4, Alice and Dan, are still together...and they're expecting a baby!  Awww.  Congratulations!  Too bad Freddy's shows back up and somehow starts messing with the baby's dreams.  Good lord, people get paid actual money to write this shit?!

Lame characters, low body count (3), goofy kills, zero nudity, low water pressure in the shower, average acting, rubbish story, Freddy turning into a motorcycle, Freddy riding a skateboard, Freddy wearing a shiny sweater.  Honestly, this movie is pretty crappy, but I've still seen this movie like 20 times.

Part 1 - A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Part 2 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)
Part 3 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
Part 4 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)
Part 6 - Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)
Part 7 - Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)
Freddy vs Jason (2003)
Remake 1 - A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)