Saturday, March 12, 2011


A number of interesting and fun to watch horror movies came out in 1989 (PET SEMATARY, STEPFATHER 2, HALLOWEEN 5, SOCIETY), NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 5 wasn't one of them.

As you remember from the previous installment Alice whipped Freddy's ass, but now he's back thanks to his mother's soul being trapped in the insane asylum or some horseshit (nobody really fucking cares). Anyway, Freddy's back and tearing up shit, including Alice's new group of friends: a comic book nerd; a diver and an aspiring model. Her bf Dan is still around and apparently DTF cause she comes up fucking pregnant! Oh shit. Freddy starts fucking with the fetus' dreams and killing people and turning into a motorcycle and riding a skateboard and dressing up like a waiter...before long I was so goddamn confused I had no idea what was happening except that it was making me yawn a lot.

According to Box Office Mojo Part 5 was the second lowest performing movie of the series and I can see why: it's fucking boring! All of the characters are lame, the body count is low, the kills are silly as fuck and the story is rubbish. Honestly, outside of wanting to see the entire series, I can't think of a single reason to watch this movie. It's not horrible, just boring. Take a nap instead.

Part 1 - A Nightmare on Elm Street
Part 2 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge
Part 3 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
Part 4 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master
Part 6 - Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare
Part 7 - Wes Craven's New Nightmare
Remake 1 - A Nightmare on Elm Street
Freddy vs Jason

Why is his sweater shiny?