REFORM SCHOOL GIRLS (1986)

When I was a kid back in the 1980's REFORM SCHOOL GIRLS was legendary (to me at least) thanks to that awesome VHS box I kept sneaking peeks at at my local video store.  Watching it now though it was pretty disappointing. 

Opening with some fresh fish entering Pridemore Juvenile Facility, they're stripped, searched and showered before joining the general population, which apparently is just a single large room full of girls.  One of the new girls is ultra-pure and the bad girl dyke gang wants her for their own.  Added to this is the evil warden (Sybil Danning who has very little screen time and never even gets close to naked) and her second-in-command, Edna, who deals with the girls on a more day to day basis.  The usual shit-talking, hair-pulling and fighting takes place, but I just couldn't get into it.  Even the fair amount of nudity didn't help.

What this film needed was a better script, hotter chicks and Divine in the role as Edna!  That would have been awesome!  As it is though, the version I had built up in my mind was way better than the lame one that showed up on my TV.  Worth a watch just to be able to say you've seen it, but I can't imagine wanting to watch it twice.  If you need me I'll be in my room watching ILSA, SHE WOLF OF THE SS.

JOYSTICKS (1983)

One year before the uptight citizens of the town in FOOTLOOSE got all upset about teenagers dancing, the upright citizens of the town in JOYSTICKS got all upset about teenagers playing video games.  Local business man Joe Don Baker is pissed off about the video arcade, especially since his daughter spends so much time there.  So he and his two bumbling nephews set out to have it closed down by whatever means necessary.  But the kids aren't gonna stand for that!  Hell no!

I'm not exactly sure why, but for whatever wonderful reason I believe that JOYSTICKS, TERRORVISION and SURF II are the Holy Trinity of silly, low-budget, teen comedies of the 80's.  Based on the IMDb ratings (3.2, 5.2 and 2.9 respectively) it appears that the general public doesn't agree with my love, but oh well. For some reason these films just click with me and even after dozens of viewings I still love them dearly.  Can you relate?

Video games, short shorts, farting, punk hair, mini-motorcycles, 80's fashions, lots of topless moments, S & M, mud wrestling, cheesy humor, but best of all JOYSTICKS has...King Vidiot!!!  Jesus Christ this guy is great.  Vidiot is a punk who along with his four female minions pester the kids who hang out at the arcade.  They eventually team up with Joe Don to try and close down the arcade.  What makes him so great is Jonathan Gries over the top performance.  I can't even explain how awesome this guy is.  I wish he had his own movie!  Luckily though he played a very similar character in TERRORVISION.

In the commentary director/producer Greydon Clark (yes, the same Greydon Clark who played Acid in SATAN'S SADISTS) says the film costs $250,000 and opened #1 in the box office.  I have no idea if that's true or not, the listing on Box Office Mojo shows it opening in 8th place at only 310 screens, but still it made money.

Highly recommended to those with a sense of humor and a love for the 80's.