[This review is for the 113-minute theatrical version. I was not a fan of
the 134-minute Director's Cut.]
"You can go suck a fuck."
Donnie's got some problems. The biggest is that the world will end in 28
days, 6 hours, 42 minutes, and 12 seconds and...well, you know what, just watch
it. I dislike reviewing movies like this because anything I say might ruin
it. All you need to know is you're going to have to pay attention for this
one. Close attention. No fucking around on your phone or
kissing your girlfriend or playing Hungry, Hungry Hippos. Pay attention!
I'll be shocked and disappointed if you figured it out in one
viewing. Shocked because "goddamn, u smart!" and disappointed because you
might decide against watching it a second time. And one of the biggest
joys of DONNIE DARKO is watching it again and again. I think I've
discovered about everything there is to discover, but I still love revisiting it
every once and awhile simply because I enjoy the story and the characters so
much. And the dialogue! I don't know if writer/director Richard
Kelly won any awards for this script or not, but he fucking deserved to. I
wish he'd write a novelization, honestly.
Hard to decipher story that's incredibly rewarding when you finally do figure it out, memorable
characters that you wish you knew in real life, a stupid bunny suit, beautiful
photography, about 10 billion quotable lines, Smurf gang bang, cellar door, beer
and pussy, maybe the coolest parents of all time, dedication to Sparkle Motion,
Patrick Swayze's best performance(?), the fucking Antichrist, powerful musical
moments that'll make you feel all wonky britches inside, non-distracting special
effects, Beth Grant as a flibbertigibbet, a stupid man suit and a cast/crew that
every single member should be proud of themselves. Mary McDonnell should
have walked home with an Oscar.
Do me a favor. If you haven't already seen it before, don't look up
anything about the story. Just watch it. Twice. If you need me
I'll be in the locker room cleaning up baby mice. Awww! After that, I'm gonna write that bitch a letter!