SMALL TIME CROOKS (2000)

When career criminal (and career idiot) Ray "The Brain" Winkler (Woody Allen) comes up with the idea to open up a cookie shop (fronted by his wife Tracey Ullman) near a bank and then tunnel into the bank's vault, he recruits some of his closest friends to help...unfortunately they're all as dumb as he is.  (Example: they wear their lighted miner helmets backwards because it "looks cool".)  Despite their collection of low IQ's they still end up extremely rich.  So now with their new money, Tracey wants to learn how to fit in with high society.  She hires art dealer Hugh Grant to educate her Pygmalion-style, but he has his sights set on stealing Tracey (and her money) away from Woody.  At the same time, Woody misses his old life of crime, so he hatches a plan to steal a one-of-a-kind necklace at a society party.

SMALL TIME CROOKS is a great film that I've enjoyed it many times over the years.  I love it when Woody does light-hearted comedies like this.  From beginning to end, the story moves along so quickly, with so many great small touches, that you can't take it all in with just one viewing.  Excellent cast, wonderful script, very natural camerawork that fits the story perfectly, quick pace...SMALL TIME CROOKS is simply a joy to watch.  Highly recommended.

Would make a perfect double-feature with THE CURSE OF THE JADE SCORPION.

BIG DEAL ON MADONNA STREET (1958)

HIGH SIERRA (1941)

WHITE HEAT (1949)

SLEEPAWAY CAMP III: TEENAGE WASTELAND (1989)

After running over and killing a teenage girl with a garbage truck in front of like 50 witnesses (I'm including the extremely visible camera crew in this number), Angela steals the dead teens identity and returns to the same camp where she massacred all those people the year before.  That doesn't even make sense, but whatever.  So now she (and her shitty new hair style) are back at camp and she immediately starts killing everybody.  Firecracker to the face, arms ripped off, needle to the eye, axe to chest, lawnmower to head, blah, blah, blah.  Very little is actually shown on screen, but it doesn't even matter since the whole thing is a bowl of fuck.

Average acting, camera crew visible (twice!), horrible dialogue, Angela rapping, the same Flotsam and Jetsam album cover that was shown in Part 2, below average special effects, some nice topless moments (including Jill Terashita from the original NIGHT OF THE DEMONS!), ridiculous story that is pretty much just a series of kill scenes strung together with some boring talking scenes tossed in to pad the runtime (They even said in the extras that the lame "dream sequence" full of flashbacks was added because they were contractually obligated to turn in a 80+ minute movie and they only had 78 minutes!)

The best part about SLEEPAWAY CAMP III: TEENAGE WASTELAND is when I hit "eject" on my remote control.  Skip this turd and skip Part 2 also.  The original is a wonderful, off-kilter 80's slasher classic, but these two sequels both blow dead dogs.

Part 1 - Sleepaway Camp (1983)
Part 2 - Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers (1988)

Cast photo

SLEEPAWAY CAMP II: UNHAPPY CAMPERS (1988)

Fucking lame.

After the simple brilliance of the first film, the SLEEPAWAY CAMP series takes a wet, dripping dookie all over itself with this pathetically unfunny comedy sequel.  It was so unfunny, in fact, that it took me like a hour to even realize that it was a comedy!

Taking place a few years after the original massacre, Angela is now fully transferred over to being a woman (thanks to a sex change operation).  Also, two years of shock therapy have left her fully cured.  Could have fooled me though, because she's taking her job as a camp counselor waaaay too seriously.  (Just a side track here for a moment, but wouldn't her parole officer or doctors or whatever probably have a issue with her getting a job as a camp counselor...seeing as she just recently killed around thirty people at another summer camp?)  It seems Angela has a severe problem with people she perceives as sinful.  Smoke weed...that's a murderin'.  Premarital sex...that's a murderin'.  Ask questions about all the other campers that have been gettin' murderin'ed...that's a murderin'.

That sounds promising, but trust me, it's not.  Crap special effects, annoying acting by the annoying main character, weak topless scenes, illogical story, stupid ending, goofy kills.  The only thing I found interesting was the hijinks of the campers, but unfortunately goddamn Angela kept killing everybody right as things were getting fun!

Skip it with a vengeance and never look back.  Watch THE BURNING again instead.

Part 1 - Sleepaway Camp (1983)
Part 3 - Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland (1989)