A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET: THE DREAM CHILD (1989)

Once again, the makers of the Freddy series prove they have absolutely no idea what the audience wants.  We want badass kills that'll make you jump up and yell "Oh, shit!!!", Freddy acting like a total asshole, hot naked chicks and some hot naked dudes (gotta be fair to everybody), a couple of good laughs, lots of scares, awesome photography, badass music, creepy atmosphere, quick pace, easy to follow story, sexy clothes...I could go on, but you get the idea.  Unfortunately, none of that stuff happens in ANOES5.

The two survivors from Part 4, Alice and Dan, are still together...and they're expecting a baby!  Awww.  Congratulations!  Too bad Freddy's shows back up and somehow starts messing with the baby's dreams.  Good lord, people get paid actual money to write this shit?!

Lame characters, low body count (3), goofy kills, zero nudity, low water pressure in the shower, average acting, rubbish story, Freddy turning into a motorcycle, Freddy riding a skateboard, Freddy wearing a shiny sweater.  Honestly, this movie is pretty crappy, but I've still seen this movie like 20 times.

Part 1 - A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Part 2 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)
Part 3 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
Part 4 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)
Part 6 - Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)
Part 7 - Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)
Freddy vs Jason (2003)
Remake 1 - A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

THE CHASER (2008)

A pimp, Joong-ho, is getting pissed off because all of his whores are disappearing. He does a little investigating and finds out the phone number of the last john his missing sluts visited is always the same...the same one that his hooker, Mi-jin, went to go see tonight! He goes out looking for her with zero luck until he's involved in a minor car wreck. The driver of the other car is the killer. Joong-ho beats the shit out of him until the cops arrive and both are taken in. The killer confesses to the killings, just like he's confessed to other random killings before. Because of this bizarre behavior the police aren't sure if he's really the killer. So now with pretty much zero evidence and a police force full of idiots, Joong-ho has to locate Mi-jin before the cops inevitably release the murderer.

The story's a little far-fetched, but is still fucking awesome because the action never lets up. The entire movie Joong-ho is in motion whether he's running or punching or kicking or screaming this dude is going on a rampage!!! It's great. And so is the direction by first time director Hong-jin Na. I can't wait to see what he does next!

Great acting, more twists than a crazy straw factory, enjoyable violence, brisk pace...if you enjoy serial killer crime dramas then you can't go wrong with THE CHASER.

I'm not one to normally make predictions, but there's a little kid in this movie (Kim You-Jung) and as you know I hate children, but this kid can fucking act. I've seen her in three movies now (this film, HAEUNDAE and SYMPATHY FOR LADY VENGEANCE) and in each one she stands out due to her performance. I'm predicting that she's going to be a big star in the years ahead...or maybe not. What the fuck do I know?!

Looks like somebody's a fan of "Desperation" by Stephen King.

SEX IS ZERO (2002)

I rented this thinking it was going to be some kind of Korean version of AMERICAN PIE and it kinda starts off that way with the raunchy humor and sexy girls, but before long it gets all serious with an abortion, a chick bleeding out her pussy, a mother beating her daughter and telling her she wishes she would die...overall this movie ended up being the biggest teen comedy downer since THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN.

The story is about this college dork who's in love with an attractive female student. She likes him, but instead she starts boning the rich preppie stud. Naturally, the preppie stud screws her over and won't even go with her to get an abortion. Instead the nerd dude goes and she then sees what a nice guy he actually is. How original. Other side stories are about make a grilled jizz and rat poison sandwich, a dance contest, getting locked out of a dorm room in your underwear, getting stuck on the window ledge in your underwear, jacking off to porn, etc. None of it is funny and a lot of it is kinda disturbing like the two peeping toms jacking off together repeatedly, the guy jacking off in front of his friend, three guys sitting very close together while watching porn and so on.

I was really hoping for this movie to be funny, but it wasn't. With the depressing story and hardly any nudity I would have been better off just watching AMERICAN PIE again. And what does the name SEX IS ZERO even mean? Skip it.

Part 2 - Sex Is Zero 2 (2007)