THE LAST EXORCISM (2010)

Full-time preacher and part-time Mike Rowe impersonator Rev. Cotton Marcus wants to prove that exorcisms are nothing but succubusshit, so he takes a small film crew with him on his latest exorcism call. Trouble is...this victim might actually be possessed!

Despite the slower pace I liked this movie...until the very end where it just went all to Hell, but at least it was funny. If you're looking for an actual horror movie with actual scares then you need to stay far away, because nothing even remotely scary happens here. Pretty much the entire movie is people talking in front of a handheld camera. There's maybe 4 minutes of action in the entire movie. Still, I found the movie compelling and I enjoyed Ashley Bell's performance.

Very little blood, zero gore, double jointed possession action, zero nudity, lots of shaky camera movement, pentagrams, inverted crosses. Worth a watch, but only as a demon-themed drama, not a horror movie.

Part 2 - The Last Exorcism Part II (2013)

THE PIRATE MOVIE (1982)

Of the thousands of pirate-themed musicals made in Australia during the 1980's, THE PIRATE MOVIE is the wackiest, the most romantic, the only one to feature an octopus playing an electric guitar...and the best.

Fredric (without a "k") was raised by pirates, but when he meets Mabel (also without a "k") he instantly falls in love and leaves the pirate life behind him. His pirate family isn't happy about this and devises a plan to get him back. The plan features a lot of singing. At the same time, Fredric devises a plan to steal Mabel's family's treasure back from the pirates. This plan features a lot of singing. Shit goes down and finally the cops are called in, yes...singing cops.

THE PIRATE MOVIE is an acquired taste film. At first, the bizarre one liners and dreamy story presentation kind of throw you off, but then you get into it and it's fun. I'm not sure why this movie developed such a horrible reputation.  The musical numbers are kinda hit or miss, but even the lesser ones are still fun to watch.

If you like the 80's and/or you love campy musicals then you should check out THE PIRATE MOVIE. It's corny as fuck, but it's also sweet and fun. "Tarantara! Tarantara!" to all the motherfuckers who don't like this movie.

PIRANHA (2010)

[Update 04/18/2023: Need rewatch this film and redo this review completely. Fix the screenshots also.]

Sheriff Elizabeth Shue discovers that a bunch of killer piranhas are headed right for the drunken Spring Breakers that are infesting her town. Instead of making the world a better place and not telling anyone, but she does the evil thing and warns them. Naturally they don't listen and soon get eaten.

I really expected this movie to take the dick and suck it, but it was actually pretty entertaining. Not entertaining enough that I would ever want to watch it again, but I got some good laughs out of it. Also Kelly Brook is extraordinarily beautiful, but yet her nude scene totally sucked! She has one of the hottest bodies on the planet, but for whatever reason, maybe the 3D bullshit, her naked body looked all cartoony to the point that I couldn't even tell if it was real or not. And that happened a lot with this movie. Nearly all of the gore and blood scenes looked CGI but when you watch the extras you see that they're actually not! It was really weird. I know this is just a cheesy killer fish movie, but really wish the filmmakers would have concentrated more on writing an original script and using real special effects instead of trying to look slick. The movie is fun, but the script is garbage. It's like the scriptwriters had a slumber party and watched JAWS, JAWS 2, EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS, the original PIRANHA and just mash it all together with a dash of "Girls Gone Wild" parody. It's crap, but I guess the target audience really doesn't care. Hopefully Part 2 has an better story, more gore and more action.

Nice amount of tits, tons of crappy looking CGI, really horrible rap and techno bullshit, a bunch of really good actors in supporting roles, Elisabeth Shue looking old!, crushed head, chick's hair stuck in boat propeller, roaring piranhas, blood all over the place with lots of gnawed up limbs. Definitely a fun rent, but that's about it.

Best scene in the movie: during the main attack scene a dude says fuck this shit, jumps in a boat and just starts running people over! It was hilarious.

Part 1 - Piranha (1978)
Part 2 - Piranha II: The Spawning (1981)

Remake - Piranha (1995)

Reboot 2 - Piranha 3DD (2012)

Is this a nod to the famous TITANIC shot?