HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS (1989)

As you might remember, at the end of Part 4, Michael and his crooked shoulders got run the fook over by a truck and then shot a bunch of times until falls into a big hole. Well, the hole conveniently had an emergency exit.  He crawls out the exit, floats downstream in a river for like 10 seconds then crawls onshore and passes out.  "So longer, coppers!  You'll never find me over here...75 feet from where you last saw me!  Ahhh-hahahahaha!!!"  Anyway, he passes out and for the next year(!!!) a hobo takes care of the unconscious Michael until the following Halloween eve, when he springs to life like an acrobat and started killing all over again!  (I have so many questions about the whole hobo taking care of Michael thing, but the review would be way too long.  It just boggles the mind to think about and I can guarantee you that somebody somewhere has already written a Florence Nightingale/Michael Myers-homoerotic-coma-patient-bedpan-sniffing fan fiction romance, so I'll just leave it at that.)

Anyway, Michael still wants to kill his niece, Jamie (yawn), so he heads back into town, steals a bitchin' Camaro and kills some people in meh fashion.  It's not very entertaining....zero nudity, very little blood, 80's clothing and hair, Michael crying (what a pussy!!!), another unseen police station slaughter, Donald Pleasence yelling the same old lines all over again, a psychic link between the niece and Michael, a completely insane ending that tries to add some supernatural shenanigans to the Michael Myers story.

Worth watching for fans, but overall I was disappointed. I blame the crappy script and the director who according to IMDb hasn't done anything notable before or since HALLOWEEN 5.

Also, in the poster, why is Jamie still wearing the clown outfit from Part 4?  She doesn't wear it at all in Part 5, except for in a brief flashback.

Part 1 - Halloween (1978)
Part 2 - Halloween II (1981)
Part 3 - Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
Part 4 - Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)
Part 6 - Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
Part 7 - Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)
Part 8 - Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
Remake 1 - Halloween (2007)
Remake 2 - Halloween II (2009)
Sequel to Original - Halloween (2018)
Direct Sequel 2 - Halloween Kills (2021)
Direct Sequel 3 - Halloween Ends (2022)

HALLOWEEN II (1981)

A lot happened in the horror movie industry after the original HALLOWEEN exploded onto screens in October, 1978 and when Part 2 finally came out in October, 1981: PHANTASM, ALIEN, THE SHINING, ZOMBIE, PROM NIGHT, TERROR TRAIN...just to name a few, but, I think, most importantly it was FRIDAY THE 13TH and FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2!!!  That's right, the people behind the F13 franchise managed to pop out two films in between the time it took the HALLOWEEN people to churn out the first sequel.  (Plus, when you look at the time period, there wasn't a lot of sequels around.)  The wait was worth it though, cause HALLOWEEN II is a lot of fun. 

Picking up exactly where the original lets off, Donald Pleasence shoots Michael and he falls off the balcony. Donald runs outside...and the asshole ain't there! The paramedics come and take Jamie to the hospital, so what does Michael do? He takes an Uber to the hospital and starts killing the fuck out of everybody! It's awesome.

Early 80's slasher were the best and although HALLOWEEN II only has one brief topless scene and Michael's not really that intimidating looking, it's still a solid movie with a jackrabbit pace and a steady body count. My favorite kill was the one where Michael stabs the nurse in the upper back and literally picks her up with the knife. That's hardcore.

Respectable body count, Donald Pleasence freaking out, people making dumb decisions non-stop, hammer to the skull, fire, blood, explosions, NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD on TV, sexy nurses with hot 80's hair, pre-THE LAST STARFIGHTER Lance Guest, brief appearance by Lucille Benson, no cell phones, cool HALLOWEEN theme, Jamie Lee Curtis wearing a wig, annoying nurse clogs that irritated me every time I saw them, vintage cars, syringe to the temple, some guy getting "trick or treated to death".

HALLOWEEN II is required viewing for horror fans.

Part 1 - Halloween (1978)
Part 3 - Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
Part 4 - Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)
Part 5 - Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)
Part 6 - Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
Part 7 - Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)
Part 8 - Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
Remake 1 - Halloween (2007)
Remake sequel - Halloween II (2009)
Sequel to Original - Halloween (2018)
Direct Sequel 2 - Halloween Kills (2021)
Direct Sequel 3 - Halloween Ends (2022)

SORUM (2001)

Quite possibly the most boring horror movie of all time. Nothing happens the entire movie. Some dude moves into a grody looking apartment. The neighbors talk about some bad shit that happened 30 years(!!!) ago. Blah, blah, blah. Lots of talking, lots of cigarette smoking, some people wrestle and fight, it rains, a guy walks around holding a hamster cage. The End.