ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL (1979)

The students of Vince Lombardi High School love rock music and (for whatever illogical movie logic reason) this love of rocking out keeps driving their principals insane.  Like literally.  So before the last principal can even be shipped off to the nuthouse, the school board brings in the new principal: Miss Togar.  Miss Togar (Mary Woronov) hates rock music, so it's only natural that on her first day as principal she butts heads with "Number 1 Ramones fan" Riff Randell (P.J. Soles).  And to make matters even worse: Riff has to miss three days of school in order to wait in line to buy everybody at school tickets to the upcoming Ramones concert.

That's about as deep as the story gets, but it fits the playful mood of the movie perfectly.  I've watched ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL dozens times since I was a teenager and watching it again just a few minutes ago I still got lost in the energy of the movie.  It's entertaining as hell right from the opening scene but then when the Ramones show up in person about halfway through...the excitement level goes right off the charts!  I loved the Ramones concert scenes so much that I watched them like four or five times.

Without even having a way to know it, the filmmakers captured the Ramones at the height of their post-Tommy Ramone power and because of that alone ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL is a one-of-a-kind treasure of American culture.  They couldn't act for shit, but goddamn their screen presence was amazing.

Human-sized rats, great cast (a few of them probably giving the best performances of their careers), the fakest-looking TV camera in movie history, The Real Don Steele, off-screen birds chirping out "cheap...cheap" when the New World Picture copyright shows up in the opening credits, lightening-fast pace that never lets up for a moment, the promise to give Mr. McGlup a visit, a van with a badass paint job, somebody looking for Carbona, awesome 70's hairstyles on the girls, uncredited Joe Dante direction when director Allan Arkush was hospitalized for exhaustion, tons of great quotable lines, Dee Dee smiling.

ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL is mandatory viewing for all lovers of stuff that was awesome in the late 1970's. Double-feature with A HARD DAY'S NIGHT.

If you need me, I'll be in my room tossing slices of pizza at my Mick Jagger poster.

Tommy

THE HIDDEN (1987)

Two years after blessing the world with the sexually confused and humorous A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2: FREDDY'S REVENGE (I still love that bump-humping-the-dresser-drawer-closed scene), director Jack Sholder brought us THE HIDDEN.  The mildly exciting story of a nasty-looking alien bug creature that can take over mammals by crawling down their throat.  After the creature has taken control of his host body, it's just straight-up chaos.  Stealing luxury cars, robbing banks, killing people left and right...this dude doesn't give a fuck!  It's awesome.  I love the idea of an anarchist thrill killer from outer space landing on Earth and fucking shit up.  Unfortunately, instead of simply going completely bonkers, THE HIDDEN adds a second (good) alien in the form of a lawman and that part is kinda boring.  It was interesting seeing the alien lawman tracking down the killer, but that really wasn't that hard to do since the bad alien is too stupid to be careful and wrecks his new host body almost as quickly as he gets it.

Fast beginning pace that slows down as the movie goes on, weak ending, zero nudity, mild action, one really impressive stunt (the dude hit by the car), great story idea that doesn't live up to it's potential, solid acting, early Danny Trejo sighting, cool 80's Los Angeles scenery, outstanding performance by veteran actor William Boyett (he was the highlight of the movie), good soundtrack, the same dog that pissed fire in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 4: THE DREAM MASTER.

I'm sure THE HIDDEN still has a sweet spot in the hearts of fans who first saw it back in the day, but it hasn't aged that well compared to other 80's alien invasion movies.  THE THING, for example.  That said, THE HIDDEN still worth watching and I would love to see a true, hard R-rated remake and not just the bits borrowed in JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY, "The X-Files", [REC] 2, etc.

Part 2 - The Hidden II (1993)

THE SECRET OF MY SUCCE$S (1987) billboard