Sunday, October 31, 2010


For those two or three people out there who've never seen DEAD ALIVE here's the story: adult Lionel still lives with his over domineering mother in a large house on the hill. He goes on a date with his girl Paquita to a local zoo. While spying on her son, the mother is bitten by a rat monkey and the next day turns into a flesh eating zombie! Lionel can't stand the thought of killing his zombie mother, so he keeps her under sedation in the basement. Keeping a live zombie in the basement is hard work, so before long everything has spiraled out of control until there's an entire horde of zombies running around the house...and all of them want to kill Lionel.

That's a brilliant story, but what pushes DEAD ALIVE into the one of the greatest zombie movies of all time territory is the absolute genius of director Peter Jackson. I remember when this movie came out (I was in high school) my girlfriend and I sat on her mom's sofa in absolute horror movie Heaven. I was so glued to the screen I completely forgot about the sweet fuckmaking I was about to throw down. Outside of EVIL DEAD 2, I'd never seen anything like it. Right from the beginning, the film blasts off in a frantic pace and it never lets up. It's just one hilarious gore-drenched scene after another all wrapped up in a clever script that somehow makes it all believable and even has a little romance thrown in for good measure.

There really hasn't been any over the top splatter films of this quality made since this movie. It's kinda sad. It's also sad that Peter Jackson has completely forgotten about the horror genre.  Maybe on day he'll return to it.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


Zombies attack a group of people vacationing at a secluded country estate. The End.

I'm not sure why, but I kinda like this movie and have actually seen it a number of times. One of the most entertaining things about it is all of the humans when they see a zombie literally stop moving and just stand there screaming until the zombies sloooooowly shuffle over and kill them. It's like the zombies have some kind of telepathic freeze ray or something. Any normal, halfway athletic guy with a aluminum baseball bat could kill every zombie in this movie with barely breaking a sweat, because they are the superslow kind that literally take two minutes to walk across a room.

Another weird thing about BURIAL GROUND is that one of the characters is suppose to be a young boy, but for whatever bizarre reason he's played by a 26-year-old midget and to make things even worse is he has the hots for his own mother! What the fuck? He spies on her having sex, tries to rub her pussy and even at one point starts licking her exposed nipple!!!!! It's beyond creepy.

In the grand scheme of things it's not really a good movie, but I like it and it would make a great double feature with 1974's LET SLEEPING CORPSES LIE. Respectable amount of middle-aged female nudity, plenty of slow moving zombies, really stupid humans, son/mother incest, leg caught in trap while fleeing zombies, zombies using tools, nice amount of blood and gore, no CGI. If you like the older Italian zombie movies then I say check it out. A shitty, but fun movie.

Thursday, October 21, 2010


Good cast, but the story is as weak as a one-legged kitten with feline polio. The prisoners at San Quentin have been getting kinda rowdy lately so the state calls in a military man (Pat O'Brien) to take over the prison and whip the men into shape. As fate would have it the night before he starts the job O'Brien meets nightclub singer, Ann Sheridan, and instantly falls in love with her. As he's putting the moves on her, her younger brother (played by Humphrey Bogart who was 11 years older than Sheridan) shows up with the coppers hot on his tail. He's arrested for robbery. And I'm sure you can guess what prison he's going to...that's right wise guy: San Quentin.

On his first day in the joint Bogart gets into a fight, but tough loving O'Brien makes it a point to reform Bogart with a kind but firm hand. Pulling in the other direction is a prison mate who wants Bogart to take part in an escape.

At only 70 minutes long you never get a chance to get bored, but the characters are two-dimensional as fuck and the story completely uninspired. In most of his movies Bogart commands your attention, but here he was completely miscast...people constantly talked about him like he was a child, but in real life he was 38 years old and looked it! At one point somebody mentioned his character was 25! LOL.

Very little action, a miscast Bogart, unoriginal story, Ann Sheridan's hair was too short. Skip it. If you need me I'll be in my room watching I AM A FUGITIVE FROM A CHAIN GANG.
Shadow of cameraman.