Sunday, October 31, 2010

DEAD ALIVE (1992)

For those two or three people out there who've never seen DEAD ALIVE here's the story: adult Lionel still lives with his over domineering mother in a large house on the hill. He goes on a date with his girl Paquita to a local zoo. While spying on her son, the mother is bitten by a rat monkey and the next day turns into a flesh eating zombie! Lionel can't stand the thought of killing his zombie mother so he keeps her under sedation in the basement. Keeping a live zombie in the basement is hard work, so before long everything has spiraled out of control until there's an entire horde of zombies running around the house...and all of them want to kill Lionel.

That's a brilliant story, but what pushes DEAD ALIVE into the one of the greatest zombie movies of all time territory is the absolute genius of director Peter Jackson. I remember when this movie came out (I was in high school) my girlfriend and I sat on her mom's sofa in absolute horror movie Heaven. I was so glued to the screen I completely forgot about the sweet fuckmaking I was about to throw down. Outside of EVIL DEAD 2 I'd never seen anything like it. Right from the beginning the film blasts off in a frantic pace and it never lets up. It's just one hilarious gore-drenched scene after another all wrapped up in a clever script that somehow makes it all believable and even has a little romance thrown in for good measure.

There really hasn't been any over the top splatter films of this quality made since this movie. It's kinda sad. It's also sad that Peter Jackson has completely forgotten about the horror genre.  Maybe on day he'll return to it.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

BURIAL GROUND: THE NIGHTS OF TERROR (1981)

Zombies attack a group of people vacationing at a secluded country estate. The End.

I'm not sure why, but I kinda like this movie and have actually seen it a number of times. One of the most entertaining things about it is all of the humans when they see a zombie literally stop moving and just stand there screaming until the zombies sloooooowly shuffle over and kill them. It's like the zombies have some kind of telepathic freeze ray or something. Any normal, halfway athletic guy with a aluminum baseball bat could kill every zombie in this movie with barely breaking a sweat, because they are the superslow kind that literally take two minutes to walk across a room.

Another weird thing about BURIAL GROUND is there's a character in the film that's suppose to be a young boy, but for whatever bizarre reason he's played by a 26-year-old midget creature and to make things even worse is he has the hots for his own mother! WTF? He spies on her having sex, tries to rub her pussy and even at one point starts licking her exposed nipple!!!!! It's beyond creepy.

In the grand scheme of things it's not really a good movie, but I like it and it would make a great double feature with 1974's LET SLEEPING CORPSES LIE. Respectable amount of middle-aged female nudity, plenty of slow moving zombies, really stupid humans, son/mother incest, leg caught in trap while fleeing zombies, zombies using tools, nice amount of blood and gore, no CGI. If you like the older Italian zombie movies then I say check it out. A shitty, but fun movie.

Monday, October 25, 2010

TRICK OR TREAT (1986)

Eddie Weinbauer is a rocker goddamn it! Fuck all those fucking jocks and preppies at his high school, they just don't fucking understand man! His favorite rock star is Sammi Curr. So when Sammi dies in a hotel fire Eddie is crushed. He sits in his room and pouts while rocking out. Then...then he gets an ultrarare demo of the album Sammi was working on when he died and it changes his whole life, cause it's possessed! Oh fuck!!!

Weird shit happens and next thing you know a demon is slithering out of a pair of Walkman earphone and molesting and melting a sweaty naked chick...and that's just the beginning cause Sammi himfuckingself is returns in the flesh to kill people. Eddie ends up being not a true rocker after all cause he's against all the killing. Now it's up to him to stop a demonspirit of Sammi from killing everybody on the planet...or at least his high school.

TRICK OR TREAT is a great 80's metal horror movie. The music ain't worth a shit, but that's what makes it so great. Also you got fucking "Skippy" from "Family Ties" completely miscast as the main character and he's surprisingly good! I recently saw it at at the theater and it had a lot of little moments that the crowd loved. Nearly as good as BLACK ROSES and better than ROCK 'N' ROLL NIGHTMARE. If you like cheesy 80's horror then it's worth checking out.
Boom mic hanging way down.

Crew member reflection in TV.