Sunday, March 13, 2011

MONSTERS (2010)

A chick (who looks like the less attractive sister of the singer of Sixpence None The Richer) hooks up with a guy (who looks like the more annoying brother of Steve-O).  They journey on foot from somewhere in the middle of Mexico through the "Infected Zone" to America. "What's the Infected Zone?", you ask. Well, that's where these aliens who look like giant octopuses made out of Christmas lights landed 6 years ago and now they stroll around doing...well, uh, well I actually have no fucking idea what they do, because even though I watched this entire movie, the space octopuses were only onscreen for a few minutes and they pretty much just stood there doing not a goddamn thing!!!

Outside of cheating gullible suckers out of their money, what the f is the point of this movie?! I love alien invasion movies and giant monster movies, so I was stoked about watching it, but all it ended up being was these two dorks just walking around. The End.


Skip this clunker with a vengeance. If you need me I'll be in my room watching STARSHIP TROOPERS while performing a Flip 6 3 Hole.