Tuesday, March 22, 2011

THE SWITCH (2010)

Jennifer Aniston feels her biological clock ticking so she decides to put some jizz in a turkey baster and cram it up her twat (I think that was the original tagline for the poster). Problem is, whose sperm is she going to choose? Secretly (maybe even to herself?) she wants to hook up with her best friend, Jason Bateman, but for whatever reason that's just never happened. So she ends up picking some handsome athletic beau hunk, but then at the "insemination party" Jason gets so shitfaced drunk that he accidentally replaces the jizz in the bottle with his own spooge.  Now that's drunk!  Soon after she gets pregnant and Jennifer conveniently moves out of the state for 7 years then returns with a little, bitty version of Jason, except nobody knows it. To compound matters even more Jennifer starts a relationship with the dude who donated the sperm.

THE SWITCH could have gone one the crude-comedy-with-a heart-of-gold route like THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY, but instead it goes the safe route. Kinda like a Woody Allen-lite, lite, lite version. The baster scene is nonexistent, the relationship between Jason and Jennifer is never really strained, the relationship between Jennifer and the sperm donor dude is never that strong, the sperm donor dude is too nice and never dis-likeable...everything is just too perfect.

I enjoyed the movie, but never really grabbed me. I did like the head lice scene and giggled at Jeff Goldblum's one-liners. Hell, I even liked Jennifer Aniston, but the script was too goddamn weak. It needed more stress and turmoil before the inevitable happy ending.