Tuesday, April 26, 2011

APT. (2006)

Alright. So you got this big apartment building and awhile back this chick who's in a wheelchair (her legs don't work) and because of that, even though she's in her 20's, she literally does nothing but stare out the window. No job, no hobbies, nothing productive, just staring out that goddamn window.  Anyway, her parents die in a car wreck and her neighbors take her in. Sounds nice, except for the fact that they're assholes who beat the shit out of her and even rape her. Instead of simply leaving or calling the cops, she commits suicide instead and now her ghost (the standard head down chick with long, straight black hair and having a non-stop seizure variety) goes around every night at 9:56 killing people. Yawn.

A woman who lives in the complex thinks that it's odd that people die every night around 10 0'clock, but instead of hauling ass away she investigates the murders on her own. Great idea! Eventually she tells the police, but they're useless.

If you're a time traveler from the past and you've never seen a horror movie before, APT. might come off as original and scary, but to everybody else it'll blow so hard all of your Nintendo cartridges will start working. Zero scares, unoriginal story, slow pace, weak kills (falling, more falling, yet even more falling, falling in front of train, eating to death, gunshot suicide, needle to neck) plus the main females are only mildly attractive and never even get close to being naked...I cannot think of one single reason to watch this movie, especially when there’s already so many superior styled movies already out there: UZUMAKI, JU-ON, RING, etc. Skip it and never look back.
The scariest part about this movie is this fucking parking lot. How are the assholes in the middle suppose to get out?!! I'd rather face a long-haired seizure ghost than have to park my car here!