Thursday, November 21, 2013

VALENTINE (2001)

From the director of URBAN LEGEND comes the safe story of some young ladies who were mean to a nerd at a middle school Valentine's Day dance and now (thirteen years later) one of the girls is murdered by a nerd in a cherub mask.  After that all of the remaining girls get Valentine cards and then get picked off one by one in mildly imaginative ways until the big Valentine's Day party at the end.

Light blood, zero gore, zero nudity, very little cussing, zero mystery as to who the killer was, zero scares, unfunny attempts at humor, somebody referring to David Boreanaz as "not an angel".  On paper it sounds bad, but it wasn't actually that horrible.  Just a little bit horrible.  Never once did anything original happen, but at the same time I was mildly entertained.  Worth a watch for very non-demanding and very bored horror fans. 

IMDb says the budget was $29M, but that's gotta be complete bullshit cause there damn sure ain't $29 million on the screen!  I'd be shocked if the budget was over $10M.