Sunday, July 9, 2017
FLESH FOR FRANKENSTEIN (1973)
Weird 70's retelling of the Frankenstein story. This time around, Udo Kier is Dr. Frankenstein. He's married to his sister and they live in a huge castle. Also, for some unexplained reason, she doesn't have any eyebrows. It kinda freaked me out.
They have a loveless marriage (probably due to the eyebrow shortage), so she gets her kicks by banging random men while he gets off on fucking corpses. He's also obsessed with "creating" the perfect male and the perfect female out of miscellaneous body parts. He's close to finishing, but he just can't find "the perfect...nasum". Another worry is that his male zombie will have a low sex drive, so when Frankenstein mistakenly believes that a local young man is a raging cocksmith (due to an incident at the whorehouse), Frankenstein steals his head. This doesn't sit well with the young man's best friend and current Mrs. Frankenstein plaything, Joe Dallesandro. Joe and his wildly out of place American accent set off to solve The Mystery of My Best Friend's Missing Head.
FLESH FOR FRANKENSTEIN is way too slow for it's own good. I don't mind slow movies...if they have an interesting story, but, other than like two or three scenes, FFF is a bore. I was hoping for some over the top body part chopping/swapping and wild sex...instead, all I got was Udo Kier talking and making sex faces while wiggling his hands inside a corpse. Yawn.