Sunday, August 20, 2017

MULBERRY STREET (2006)

Filmed with what looks to be a camera found at the bottom of a swamp, MULBERRY STREET is the yawn-inducing tale of the residents of a crappy NYC apartment building during a city-wide ratpire* attack.  That could be exciting, except for the fact...the script fucking sucks.  First off, the intro/character build-up stuff takes forever and is slow as fuck.  A person of normal intelligence would bail on this turkey in like 5 minutes, but if, for whatever reason (like you were tied to a chair), you did stick around until the action starts...your only reward is poorly choreographed action scenes, more dim green-coloured lighting than Kermit the Frog's sex dungeon and a shit ending.

YouTube-level special effects, jerky camera movements, unnecessarily grainy picture, zero gore, zero tits, zero scares, lame acting...MULBERRY STREET fucking blows.  I could go on, but I don't even give a fuck.

Outside of laughing at it with friends, I can't think of a single reason at all to watch MULBERRY STREET.  It's boring piece of fuck movie that made me rage so much that my friend was clutching his sides laughing.  Motherfucker had me watch it twice just so he could listen to me bitching.  That ain't cool.

* the word "ratpire" is never used in the film.  I just made that shit up.