Tuesday, January 23, 2018

HARD TICKET TO HAWAII (1987)

"You go down on her...you're gonna be kissing the back of my head, cause I'm already gonna be there!"

Anybody with even a basic knowledge of "bad movies" knows what they are getting when they sit down to watch an Andy Sidaris joint: a ridiculous story filled with big guns, fat tits, exotic locations and goofy dialogue.  In other words...they're fucking awesome!!! 

This time around, the action is set in Hawaii (which truly is beautiful in this film), as some sexy female drug enforcement agents (who are working undercover as small cargo aircraft pilots) accidentally deliver a killer snake and then accidentally intercept a shipment of diamonds intended for a local drug lord!  Talk about having a bad morning...better go get topless in the hot tub and think it over!

Somebody shooting a large killer snake from 5 feet away with a rocket launcher inside a house (!!!), numerous topless scenes, some truly cringeworthy dialogue, eye-melting 80's fashions, cool 80's electronics, a middle-aged skateboarder doing a drive-by while holding an inflatable sex doll, crossdressing, medium pace, Andy Sidaris acting, throwing star-fu, nunchaku-fu, ninja hand claw-fu, somebody "smoking some heavy doobies" and a guy getting murdered with a frisbee!

If frisbee murder didn't grab your attention, then I don't know what will.  HTTH isn't the best movie of all time (or even a good movie!), but in the right frame of mind, it can be a lot of fun.  So grab some heavy doobies and check it out.