MYSTERY 101 (2019)

Midsomer Murders it’s not. After opening with an extremely weak murder, we’re introduced to English literature professor Amy Winslow (played by Jill Wagner). One of Professor Winslow’s students is worried about her missing boyfriend, so, being a caring soul, the professor decides to help the student. At the same time, a new (handsome) homicide detective is brought onto the local small town police force and his partner happens to be one of Professor Winslow’s past students. I’m sure we can see where this is going. That’s right, Professor Winslow gets a bad case of the wonky britches when a dead body is discovered at the bottom of a cliff, but then she gets a bad case of the moist britches when she’s teamed up (as a consultant) with the handsome new detective. Father Brown it’s not.

As far as mysteries go, MYSTERY 101 is pretty weak and you’d have to be a goddamn moron to not figure out the killer within the first act. That said, I still enjoyed it and look forward to watching more of the series. I mean hell, I’m on like my 7th or 8th Depression-fueled run of Midsomer Murders, so I need something new to watch. At least once.

Okay acting, zero nudity, pretty looking scenery and a cute town, yet another Hallmark movie with a dude wearing a horrible jacket, no real ups or downs, one odd transitional moment around 28:37 (on the DVD) that made it seem like a scene was missing, an interesting cast (including the vice principal from SUMMER SCHOOL as Amy’s dad), good pace that kept the story moving forward, zero gore, zero tension, multiple scenes of people drinking coffee.

I don't know, I probably have more to say but I'm too depressed to figure out what it is. I think I'm going to go take a nap for a thousand years.

Part 2 - Mystery 101: Playing Dead (2019)
Part 3 - Mystery 101: Words Can Kill (2019)
Part 4 - Mystery 101: Dead Talk (2019)
Part 5 - Mystery 101: An Education in Murder (2020)
Part 6 - Mystery 101: Killer Timing (2021)
Part 7 - Mystery 101: Deadly History (2021)

CHRISTMAS IN EVERGREEN: LETTERS TO SANTA (2018)

Lisa was born in Evergreen, Vermont and lived there for a number of years as a child. Now she’s an adult who is constantly on the move due to her job as a professional retail stager. Her Christmas dream is to return to Evergreen to see if it’s still as magical as she remembers. As she’s driving into town, she sees a (familiar to us) broken-down old red truck. She pulls over to help and wouldn’t you know it, it’s some handsome, single dude (Kevin) with a winning personality and a 'can do' attitude. Once in town, Lisa discovers that the old lady who owned the small general store (that was "the anchor of town") recently evolved into an angel, so Lisa agrees to help the town mayor repair and stage the store for a potential buyer, even though we all know that Lisa will end up buying the store herself. Oh yeah, the handsome dude with the broken-down truck and perfect teeth is also the only handyman in town.

CHRISTMAS IN EVERGREEN: LETTERS TO SANTA has a great start to it. Right out of the gate it fires off like a rocket! I actually had to pause it around the 14 minute mark because I was laughing so hard that I was missing dialogue. It was awesome. Then, during the second act, things started to slow down some. I mean, it was still fun, but there wasn’t even a flicker of tension because everybody in town knew that Lisa and Kevin were going to hook up…except for Lisa and Kevin. At least in the original Evergreen film we had poor, innocent Spencer getting dumped and publicly shamed on Christmas, but in Part 2 we have two single people who seem to be perfectly compatible with each other hitting it off right from the start. Also, I didn’t like Kevin’s jacket in the final act, but then Lisa shows up in a jacket that’s equally atrocious! They must be soul mates!

Steady pace, that creepy dude with the beard is back, so is the evil snow globe, goofy special effects that must be that bad on purpose(?), good acting. Overall, CHRISTMAS IN EVERGREEN: LETTERS TO SANTA is a good continuation of the Evergreen story. I will definitely watch it again. I just wish there was a little bit more imagination to it. Also, some (non-comical) gay and / or trans characters would be nice. Oh yeah, I also missed the handsome doctor and his annoying daughter.

Part 1 - Christmas in Evergreen (2017)
Part 3 - Christmas in Evergreen: Tidings of Joy (2019)
Part 4 - Christmas in Evergreen: Bells are Ringing (2020)

THE OUTER SPACE CONNECTION (1975)

Distributed by the same company that brought us the awesome IN SEARCH OF NOAH’S ARK, I had high hopes that THE OUTER SPACE CONNECTION was gonna be more of the same kinda goofy fun. The opening narration, by The Twilight Zone’s Rod Serling, even promises that “This may be the most startling and controversial film you will ever see.” Hell yeah, that sounds good to me! Nope.

Who knows, maybe THE OUTER SPACE CONNECTION was shocking to audiences back in 1975, but now in good old 39,955 (sorry, I mean 2025…sometimes I forget that I time-blog back to 21st Century, Old Earth) this kind of stuff is just weak. Plants have auras, The Dead Sea Scrolls, mummies, ancient lines dug into the earth, the Bermuda Triangle, ancient sculptures and so on. We’ve all heard about this stuff a thousand times before. The only truly interesting thing in THE OUTER SPACE CONNECTION is the announcement that aliens are going to return to Earth on December 24th, 2011. So, make sure to mark your calendars for that, I guess.

It's my own fault, but I honestly thought this movie was going to be about the history of unidentified flying objects and alien abductions. Instead, I got a depressing video of a monkey that’s trained to ask a computer for a slice of apple. Humans suck. That segment just broke my heart.

Watch it if you want, but I found the entire thing to be disappointing and depressing.