"There's never been any shortage of idiot things to believe in..."
I don't often travel on international airline flights that are attacked by pre-Christian, ancient Druid evil spirits, but when I do, I make sure that it's with a group
of passengers who immediately accept what's happening and resort to lighting fires and human sacrifice!
Clocking in at a blazing 73-minute runtime,
THE HORROR AT 37,000 FEET (or TH@37k as it's called in the 'hood) says "Eat a bowl of fuck!" to a slow build-up and gets right to it. A small group of passengers board a commercial airplane and immediately get to what normal people do on long airplane flights: playing a guitar out of tune, smoking cigarettes and openly drinking out of a private flask. The Druid ghost (or ghosts), trapped in a sacrificial altar down the lonely cargo hold, doesn't take kindly to not being invited to the party and start bringing the ruckus. And by "ruckus", I mean, lowering the air conditioner temp down a little bit and ripping a hole in the carpet. There's also a monk dude wandering around in the galley, but don't mind him much. He's just looking for some Doritos.
Lame jokes aside, THE HORROR AT 37,000 FEET was a lot of fun. I love old made-for-TV movies (and airplane-themed disaster movies) and had a blast watching this one. Extremely quick pace, awesome lighting, really cool sound effects, dope as fuck cast, plot holes and reality just kicked right in the balls and sacrificed to the gods of entertainment, a frozen dog, demonic mold growing on the walls, a large Louis Vuitton bag with the letters upside-down on one side (I was curious about that, so I Googled it and it's due to them using one continuous piece of leather), a possessed woman talking shit in Latin, Jed Clampett yelling at people, a phantom clerical collar popping up for a few seconds. Anybody who loves cheesy vintage horror movies should check it out. I'd watch it again in a heartbeat.
It's kinda strange thinking that this film actually aired 10 months (Feb.13, 1973) before THE EXORCIST hit theaters (Dec. 26, 1973)...but, of course, long after the novel became a best seller in 1971. AIRPORT was also #2 at the U.S. box office in 1970.
[Comment outside of the review: in one scene, one of the pilots states "In the last VOR, we're covering ground about like a lady bicycle rider." In the scene, they're talking about how the plane isn't traveling as fast as they had expected so I understand that's just a way of saying "slow", but still...what a bizarre, shitty and sexist way to phrase it!]
Showing posts with label horror. Show all posts
Showing posts with label horror. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 13, 2021
Monday, June 7, 2021
SAW IV (2007)
John Kramer’s not going to let a little inconvenience like having his throat cut with a
power saw get in the way of him preaching his dumbass, bullshit message that being alive is a
good thing. Nope. During his autopsy, the coroner finds a wax-covered
microcassette in Jigsaw's stomach. It informs the
detectives that there is a new game afoot. This time around, the main victim is
a cop who’s guilty of, wait for it…trying to save everybody. Not really sure how
that’s considered a bad thing, but whatever.
Next thing you know, this poor bastard's running around fighting a crazy woman with her scalp ripped off, strapping a serial rapist to a de-eyeballing machine and all kinds of other wacky adventures. There's even somebody getting their head crushed between two huge blocks of ice! You don’t see that everyday. Anyway, 4 is an enjoyable ride, but it just didn't grab my attention the way the previous films did. I can't really put my handsome finger on it, but this installment is just...lacking. Part One was original and fun, Two had an interesting cast of characters and the awesome Nerve Gas House, Three had some neat traps and Four, eh, it moves the story forward (and gives us more backstory), but there were no awesome standout elements. Although, I did enjoy the pre-credits scene with the two guys (one with his eyes sewn shut and he other with his mouth sewn shut) chained to a winch. That was pretty dope.
Totally worth watching for those going through the series. Just don't expect too much.
Part 1 - Saw (2004)
Part 2 - Saw II (2005)
Part 3 - Saw III (2006)
Part 5 - Saw V (2008)
Part 6 - Saw VI (2009)
Part 7 - Saw 3D (2010)
Part 8 - Jigsaw (2017)
Part 9 - Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)
Part 10 - Saw X (2023)
Next thing you know, this poor bastard's running around fighting a crazy woman with her scalp ripped off, strapping a serial rapist to a de-eyeballing machine and all kinds of other wacky adventures. There's even somebody getting their head crushed between two huge blocks of ice! You don’t see that everyday. Anyway, 4 is an enjoyable ride, but it just didn't grab my attention the way the previous films did. I can't really put my handsome finger on it, but this installment is just...lacking. Part One was original and fun, Two had an interesting cast of characters and the awesome Nerve Gas House, Three had some neat traps and Four, eh, it moves the story forward (and gives us more backstory), but there were no awesome standout elements. Although, I did enjoy the pre-credits scene with the two guys (one with his eyes sewn shut and he other with his mouth sewn shut) chained to a winch. That was pretty dope.
Totally worth watching for those going through the series. Just don't expect too much.
Part 1 - Saw (2004)
Part 2 - Saw II (2005)
Part 3 - Saw III (2006)
Part 5 - Saw V (2008)
Part 6 - Saw VI (2009)
Part 7 - Saw 3D (2010)
Part 8 - Jigsaw (2017)
Part 9 - Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)
Part 10 - Saw X (2023)
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