FLESH FOR FRANKENSTEIN (1973)

"But what we really need now is the perfect...nasum!"

Weird 1970's retelling of the Frankenstein story.  This time around, Udo Kier is Dr. Frankenstein.  He's married to his sister and they live in a huge castle.  Also, for some unexplained reason, she doesn't have any eyebrows.  It kinda freaked me out.

They have a loveless marriage (probably due to the eyebrow shortage), so she gets her kicks by banging random men while he gets off on fucking corpses.  He's also obsessed with "creating" the perfect male and the perfect female out of miscellaneous body parts.  He's close to finishing, but he just can't find "the perfect...nasum".  Another worry is that his male zombie will have a low sex drive, so when Frankenstein mistakenly believes that a local young man is a raging cocksmith (due to an incident at the whorehouse), Frankenstein steals his head.  This doesn't sit well with the young man's best friend and current Mrs. Frankenstein plaything, Joe Dallesandro.  Joe and his wildly out of place American accent set off to solve The Mystery of My Best Friend's Missing Head.

FLESH FOR FRANKENSTEIN is way too slow for it's own good.  I don't mind slow movies...if they have an interesting story, but, other than like two or three scenes, FFF is a bore.  I was hoping for some over the top body part chopping/swapping and wild sex...instead, all I got was Udo Kier talking and making sex faces while wiggling his hands inside a corpse.  Yawn.

NSFW images

THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE (1982)

A group of 20-something year-old teenage girls get together for a slumber party.  It's all fun and games and rizzing with boys...until the madman with the giant drill crashes the party!

I don't know if it's because THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE features both a female director and a female writer, but it definitely has a different feel to it than most 80's slasher comedies.  One thing (and this is a big positive in my book) is there's more character development than usual.  Personally, my favorite part of the film is the slumber party scenes before the killer goes full rampage...the girls are simply chatting away, the boys are sneaking around outside and the new girl in school (who lives next door with her hilarious little sister who pretty much steals the show) is getting all jelly that she's not at the party.  It's actually a fun film, then the killer shows up and...meh.  Luckily though, his kills are spaced out and mildly entertaining.

Below average amount of blood, zero gore, peeping toms, naked chicks with 80's bodies, flexible fire poker, hand chopped off, high school shower scene, a plateful of Twinkies, poor lighting, how to make Kool-Aid, Playgirl magazine, Maui Wowie, laughably bad dialogue, a horrendous peephole installation, amazing 80's fashions, a cold wiener to the face.

Even after a dozen viewings (or more) over the years, I still enjoy THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE for it's simplicity and goofy qualities.  If you have a good sense of humor and love 80's slasher comedies then check it out!

Part 2 - Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)
Part 3 - Slumber Party Massacre III (1990)

"Emergency Drill Procedures"