Saturday, June 27, 2009

KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS (1977)

Note to self: if I'm ever trapped in a house covered by millions of tarantulas and I hear a strange sound coming from an overhead air vent DO NOT stand directly beneath the vent and open it.

Local vet William Shatner is dumbfounded when he finds his small sleepy desert town under attack by a tidal wave of icky spiders. The invasion starts out slow enough, but instead of doing anything productive ol' Shat prefers to mack on all the females and drink a little cold beer. The reality of the eight legged onslaught comes soon enough but by that time it's too late and everybody just runs around screaming a lot.

As far as Animals Gone Bad movies go I'd give this one 2 1/2 Giant Lepus out of 5. Shatner is not as Shatner as I was hoping, so that was kinda a bummer. The spiders themselves are impressive in their numbers, but they never really do anything. They just walk around really slow. The biggest disappointment though is the huge amount of time wasted with the slow build-up, then right when things look like they're going to liven up the movie ends! What the fuck?! That's goddamn horseshit!

Overall it's a fun watch and there's a few good laughs out loud moments, but it leaves a lot to be desired.