Sunday, July 26, 2009

SCHOOL'S OUT (1999)

I would be hard-pressed to think of a stupider Final Girl in a slasher movie than the ignorant girl in SCHOOL'S OUT. It's bad enough that there's zero blood, zero gore, no hot chicks, no suspense and no logic but then they have to insult us even further with a Final Girl who's fat and so dumb that I doubt she could even make a bowl of cereal without getting one of her friend's killed.

A small group of teenage nerds go to their high school at night to prepare some pranks on their teachers. Once there some strange shit goes on and suddenly a dork in a harlequin costume (how scary!!!) starts chasing them around with a large pair of scissors. That might sound exciting, I guess, but it's not. Everybody just stands around like jackasses until they're all dead and we're left with the Final Girl. I'm not one to normally yell at the TV, but with this bitch I couldn't help it. It's really unbelievable. If you want I'll tell you...[SPOILERS!!!] At the very end the two killers are in a room with the Final Girl. Only one of the killers has a weapon (a knife) and the other is bleeding to death. The Final Girl has a loaded gun!!!! She does nothing and one of the killers even ends up killing somebody else who comes in the room! [End of spoilers.]

Don't watch this film. It has absolutely nothing going for it. One week after seeing it you won't remember anything except the disappointment you felt while watching it. Skip it.
Nice camera flash effect...