Sunday, July 26, 2009
Two idiot hikers break into a fenced-in facility that's clearly posted as "No Trespassing". They see a huge tank of liquid and jump in. It could have been a pool full of giraffe urine, but these fuckers don't care, they're here to par-tay. Ends up, instead of giraffe urine, it was actually full of mutated and highly aggressive piranhas.
An investigator is sent to find the two idiots, so (being an idiot as well) she also breaks into the facility and without consulting anybody, drains the pool into a nearby river! (In my opinion, that makes her responsible for every single person that got killed or injured by the piranhas.) Anyway, so now the fish are loose and they're hungry as Hell. They just eat the fuck out of everybody for the rest of the movie. They even somehow kill a dude who was sitting on a dock with his feet in the water. Hint: pull your goddamn feet out of the water!
Blood, zero CGI special effects, brief titties, funky 70's bodies, humorous attack scenes, the word piranha pronounced as pran-yah, Phil Tippett getting eaten by pran-yah, Paul Bartel getting bit in the face by a pran-yah, okay acting, some dude who looks like it's going to take him three days to blow up his pool lounger, Lone Star Beer and as with most Roger Corman films from this period you can literally spend hours on IMDb looking at the cast and crew. For example, look up the guy on the water skies or the woman at the rental car desk. And I'm pretty sure I don't have to tell you who director Joe Dante is.
Part 2 - Piranha II: The Spawning (1981)
Remake - Piranha (1995)
Reboot 1 - Piranha 3D (2010)
Reboot sequel - Piranha 3DD (2012)