Friday, August 7, 2009

UNINVITED (1988)

This is a perfect example of a film maker having a good idea, but not enough talent or budget to make a film as good as the idea...yes, I just said that a story about a cat with a with poisonous saliva oozing monster living inside of it was a good idea.

So you got this cat and somehow these genetic scientists have messed with it to the point that it now has a monster living inside of it and whenever the cat is threaten or pissed off the monster jumps out of the cat's mouth, whips everybody's ass and then crawls back into the cat. What the cat thinks about of this I don't know, but it doesn't seem too happy. Anyway, so the cat escapes from the lab and after killing a few people ends up on a dock where a slut finds it and takes it aboard a yacht. The boat gets out on the ocean and everybody on board argues constantly and for whatever reason they let the drunkest guy in the group at the wheel, so they end up way off course. Right about then the cat says "I've had enough of this shit." starts biting every mothertrucker it can get it's paws on.

That sounds pretty crazy and it is, but my favorite thing about this film is how perfectly horrible all of the dialogue and acting are! It's ridiculous. Alex Cord is especially terrible. He couldn't act to save his dick from falling off.

Another thing that I found very interesting about this movie is the cast and crew. Check it out: George Kennedy (COOL HAND LUKE, THE NAKED GUN series and a shitload more); Clu Galager (THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, THE LAST PICTURE SHOW and a ton more); Alex Cord (THE BROTHERHOOD,"Airwolf"); Toni Hudson (LEATHERFACE: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE III); Rob Estes (PHANTOM OF THE MALL: ERIC'S REVENGE; "90210"); Clare Carey ("Jericho", WAXWORK) and director, writer, producer Greydon Clark also made JOYSTICKS (I love that movie!), BLACK SHAMPOO and the horrible WITHOUT WARNING. Plus he played the role of Acid in that legendary turd SATAN'S SADIST!!! It's been years since I've seen that movie, but I still got that one song stuck in my head..."By time I was 12 I was killin', killin' for Satan." Classic.

Click on this the back cover to the VHS and read the description...it gives away the entire movie!!! Have you ever seen that much text on a VHS box in your life?! WTF?