Tuesday, November 2, 2010

EMPIRE OF THE ANTS (1977)

Look at how tight that shirt is on Pamela Shoop! Holy shit! According to IMDb this movie has a average rating of 3.1, but I can't see how any film with an chick as attractive as her wearing a shirt that tight (and then wet!!!!!!! Oh, I just fainted.) could only get a 3.1. Come on! Yeah, who cares if the story is silly and the special effects look like dated as fook...just look at that shirt!!!

Sleazy real estate salesperson Joan Collins is trying to sell worthless swampland to gullible suckers in Florida. She sails them down on a chartered boat then over cheap liquor talks them into buying land in her future resort that's never going to see the light of day. Some time before her latest group arrives, a barrel of radioactive waste washed ashore.  Ants get into it and the radiation causes them to get huge! You can probably guess what happens next...that's right the ants herd the humans to their queen so she can fart on them and make the humans their slaves, slaves that get sugar for the ants to waller around in like Scrooge McDuck in his money vault.

The story moves forward at a reasonable pace.  It's like a soap opera on the beach with giant ants. Cheesy special effects were awful in a good way and best of all: Pamela Shoop's tight shirt!!! P.S. she got topless in HALLOWEEN II.

If you enjoy giant animal movies then check it out. It's fun and horrible and would make a great double-feature with the same years ANTS! starring Myrna Loy.