Friday, December 7, 2012

H.O.T.S. (1979)

A group of college females who are too ugly or too poor to get into a real fraternity decide to get revenge on the stuck up main chick at the Pi House by starting their own frat and "...not only steal Melody's boyfriend, but ever last man on campus.  We'll make Pi sorority house look like a convent!"  Woo-hoo!  That'll show 'em!

The thought process doesn't go much deeper than that.  The H.O.T.S. girls fix up an old house, recruit new chicks (including a fat chick that thank Satan never got topless...pretty much everybody else does though), play a bunch of pranks on the rival sorority house, have pranks played on them, get into fights, ride around in a hot air balloon, skydive topless, throw pies, dance at a disco, wet t-shirt contest, adopt a seal and a bear plays guitar at the beach, make moonshine in their attic and in the end play a strip football game in front of the entire school.  Also for added yucks there's two escape convict guys who keep snooping around the house cause there's money hidden in the attic.

Even despite all of the topless nudity H.O.T.S. wasn't sexy at all and the jokes were pretty terrible.  Still though, I guess, it means well and it wasn't painful to watch.  Will you laugh?  Probably not.  Will you find the story interesting?  Not really.  Will you jack off?  Maybe, if you're into funky 70's bodies.  Not the worst 70's/early 80's sex comedy by a long shot, but it's no masterpiece either.