Thursday, April 11, 2013


Construction worker Arnold Schwarzenegger spends a lot of time thinking about Mars.  He daydreams about it during the day and dreams about it at night, but yet he's never been there.  Many people do live on Mars, but most of them are only there to support the mining industry which seems to be extremely crooked and very powerful.  One boring day Arnold sees an ad for a company called Rekall that can implant fake memories into your noodle.  Arnold signs up for a two week memory of him being a secret agent on Mars, but when they go to hook him to the machine he freaks out and starts tearing up the joint.  Next thing you know Arnold's entire life is turned upside-down when people start attacking him at every turn.  What the hell is going on here?!

For an Arnold film TOTAL RECALL is kinda entertaining.  It's not as awesome as PREDATOR or COMMANDO, but it'll pass the time.  Quick pace, 90's interpretations of what fashions and technology would be like in 2084 (hint: it's gonna look a lot like 1990), Arnold grunting a lot, a chick with three tits (four years after the three-titted chick in VICIOUS LIPS), non-threatening bad guys, badly designed buildings, gigantic fans without safety guards on them, mutants that don't really do anything but just stand there.  For a drinking game: drink every time Arnold goes "Eeeeiahaag!", every time somebody's eyeballs bulge out and every time you see an animatronic head.

The budget of $65M might sound like a lot, but the story is still a little bit too ambitious for the limited special effects of the time.

2012 remake