Tuesday, April 28, 2015

THE ROCK (1996)

A disgruntled general and a bunch of military dudes take over Alcatraz Island.  They lock all of the tourists in cells and then threaten to kill everybody in San Francisco with a deadly chemical gas (launched on missiles) unless they get 100 million samolians.  That sounds like the set-up for a fairly entertaining film: highly trained dudes in a highly fortified position, super badass dudes gotta sneak in and rescue the day...but then you see the credit "Directed by Michael Bay" and you know that you're gonna get all of that plus loads of crazy, illogical, fucked-up silliness.  Exotic cars, wailing guitars, explosions on top of other explosions, a ridiculous car chase, people barking orders, manly camera angles, patriotism overload, the Sun, helicopters, military jets...and then you add on Nicholas Cage's patented overacting!!! Wow!  That's a surefire recipe for entertainment.  Entertainment like a motherfucker!!

In order to sneak into Alcatraz the FBI forcefully recruits escape artist/ex-spy Sean Connery (the only man to have successfully snuck out of Alcatraz) to lead a group of Navy SEALS and FBI chemical weapons nerd Nicholas Cage into "the Rock".  They do, but soon all kinds of stuff happens and next thing you know it's up to the nerd to save the day.

Even all these years later THE ROCK is still an entertaining ride.  Dumb story, impressive cast, fast pace, worried girlfriend looking all worried, Sean Connery's accent, a runaway coal mine cart chase.  Recommended.