Monday, August 22, 2016


TV horror movie hostess, Elvira, wants to have a song and dance act in Las Vegas, but can't afford the $50,000 security deposit.  Her luck changes though when she's informed of an unknown aunt who recently died and named Elvira in her will.  With dreams of untold riches dancing around in her head, Elvira travels to the small town of Fallwell, Massachusetts for the reading of the will only to find out that all she inherited was a rundown house, a cookbook and a dog.  To make matters even worse, her car broke down and now she's stuck in this small town ran by conservatives.

ELVIRA: MISTRESS OF THE DARK is a fun movie, but it could have been much better with an R-rating, a better soundtrack and a non-sucky ending.  Naturally, Cassandra Peterson is the highlight of the movie.  She's funny, has great comedic timing and is (of course) beautiful.  Unfortunately, she doesn't have a lot to work with.  The town folk are all unremarkable, the bad guy is boring and the story is just kinda meh.  I really wish the whole witch burning aspect had been dropped and replaced with Elvira and the town folk butting heads until finally everybody learns to appreciate each other and Elvira hooks up with the guy who owns the movie theater and they convert it into a badass horror-only theater!  That's just my two cents, but I think it would have been better than the lame dance number ending they did have.  That was easily the worst scene of the movie.

For a wimpy, PG-13 80's movie ELVIRA: MISTRESS OF THE DARK is mildly amusing, but it had the potential to be so much more. Also, in certain scenes, Elvira looks like 80's-era Blackie Lawless.