THE THAW (2009)

THE THAW isn't a bad film or a good film, it's just a nothing film. The story is lifted straight from the 1982 version of THE THING. All they did was remove the snow, the tension, the cool FX, the creepy monsters, the interesting alien storyline and Kurt Russell then replaced it with a bloated Val Kilmer, 90's cable level CGI effects, less snow, lame insect "monsters" and a heavy-handed global warming due to human pollution theme.

Scientists up north somewhere find a woolly mammoth (thanks to the global warming) and start studying it. That's all fine and dandy until they discover it's full of some centipede/cockroach-looking parasites that like to dig their way into you then start laying eggs all up in yo shit. That actually sounds cool, but in reality the whole thing is bland as fuck.

If you're really, really bored then check it out, but with little violence, a lame political message, no tits and a lame monster there's very zero reason to waste your time with this frozen turkey.  If you need me, I'll be in my room watching "Fortitude".