Ehhh. I was expecting better. More suspense, more disaster, more
Charlton Heston topless.
It's football time, so 91,000 fans pile into the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum
on a bright sunny day to watch an exciting game between Los Angeles and
Baltimore. It's so exciting, in fact, that none of the 91,000 attendees
notice the dude sitting on top of the scoreboard with a sniper rifle for
nearly the entire game!!! He's just sitting up there chilling,
eating a Babe Ruth candy bar and staring down the scope of his rifle at various
people. Finally some genius on board the Goodyear blimp notices him and
calls the cops. They show up, brutalize a couple of innocent people and
then eventually get around to confronting the sniper...94 minutes into
the movie!!! They do a horrible job at containing him and all Hell breaks
loose.
As far as disaster films go, TWO-MINUTE WARNING is pretty weak. The
disaster (stampede) is all contained inside the stadium and if the police had
done a better job of confronting the sniper nobody would have got hurt at
all. Top-billed Charlton Heston is alright as the police captain, but his
role is very small. The majority of the time is wasted showing the lives
of various attendees: Jack Klugman as a idiot with a gambling problem, Walter
Pidgeon as a pickpocket, David Janssen and Gena Rowlands as a couple who's
relationship seems completely based on how much they can bitch at each other,
Beau Bridges and Pamela Bellwood as a married couple with two children,
etc. All of their stories are boring and failed at persuaded me to care
about any of them.
Mild pace, lackluster photography, soulless direction, unlikable characters,
weak disaster, a man getting "butt-stroked", low body count. Not a
terrible film, just dated and meh.