A married sawbones works in secret for the King of the Underworld (Humphrey
Bogart) patching up hoodlums for some extra scratch to bet on the ponies.
One evening while sewing up a gangster who was shot in a getaway stick, the
trigger-happy bulls start blasting the joint. When the gat smoke clears, the
doctor is wearing a Chicago overcoat. The local (crooked) DA is out for
blood so he falsely accuses the surgeon’s widow (who is also a doctor) of being
in cahoots with the mob as well. She’s not. Boring shit happens and
before you can say, “I wish Forever Grey would make a 9-minute cover of the Def
Leppard song Hysteria.” both the doctor and the King of the Underworld are in
the same small town doing all kinds of riveting things. The doctor treats
an innocent man who was ventilated by a stray bullet then pays off her grocery
store bill. The King of the Underworld yells at his men while they change
a flat tire and then works on his autobiography. It’s exciting
stuff. And speaking of excitement, don’t even get me started on the
thrilling climax featuring eye drops! I was peeing my Ewok Underoos as I
shivered with antici
pation.
At only 67 minutes you would think that the film would fly by, but nope.
This mother is slow! Average acting, unattractive scenery, boring sets,
lame dialogue, by the numbers story filled with paper thin characters, goofy
ending. As a gangster movie KING OF THE UNDERWORLD is too tame and as a
melodrama KING OF THE UNDERWORLD is
still too tame. The entire
thing is as weak as H.R. Pickens. Worth a watch, I guess, for Bogart
fans. Then again, I love Humphrey Bogart and even I found his performance
to be uninspired. Yeah, see?
