SCREAM 3 (2000)

Yep, they're beating a dead horse with this one. Sidney is now in hiding and in an attempt to draw her out a copycat Ghostface is killing the actors of the film-within-a-film STAB 3, which is currently in production. Yawn.  Why the fuck does this story have to be so complicated?  Despite six returning characters from the original film and an impressive cast of new characters (Lance Henriksen, Roger Corman, Parker Posey, Emily Mortimer, Patrick Warburton) SCREAM 3 is a snoozer that wouldn't please even the most forgiving of horror fans.

The surprise ending is telegraphed a million miles away, zero tits, stupid kills, zero gore, very little blood, lazy script filled with unfunny (and unneeded) jokes like a cameo by Jay and Silent Bob (Hahaha...so funny.), a cameo by Carrie Fisher where she references Princess Leia (Oh man that's hilarious!) and a Terminator-like statue in Lance Henriksen's office (ho-ho!  What a knee-slapper!). Honestly, I can't think of a single reason to watch this. I was actually looking forward to reviewing the SCREAM series, but this energy vampire turd sucked all the excitement out of me.

Part 1 - Scream (1996)
Part 2 - Scream 2 (1997)
Part 4 - Scream 4 (2011)
Part 5 - Scream (2022)
Part 6 - Scream VI (2023)

SCREAM 2 (1997)

After an absolutely dismal opening segment, SCREAM 2 gets a little better in the second half before crashing into an iceberg of confusion and dying a slow death. The events of the first film have now been made into a movie called STAB and during a preview showing, two annoying assholes are stabbed to death, but only after we are forced to listen to their submental conversation for 10 painful minutes.

Sidney (played again by Neve Campbell) is now attending college and living a relatively peaceful life along with the movie nerd from the first film and a whole bunch of new characters. When the new murders occur, Sidney is once again put in the media spotlight, so in swoops returning characters Courteney Cox as an investigative reporter and David Arquette as a concerned hometown friend. Various secondary characters get killed off, but overall I just didn't give a fuck. Any originality of the first one is gone and replaced with tired popular culture references...the a cappella reenactment of "I Think I Love You" from TOP GUN being the most soul raping.

As a stand alone horror movie, SCREAM 2 is shitty pile of poo-poo. The story is alright, but the killer doesn't have the disquieting presence he had in the first film, the kills are weak and unimaginative, zero nudity, zero gore, very little blood, the killer is easy to guess and the end drags on forever. Worth watching, I guess, but just barely. The highlight of the movie was Sarah Michelle Gellar's short appearance.

Part 1 - Scream (1996)
Part 3 - Scream 3 (2000)
Part 4 - Scream 4 (2011)
Part 5 - Scream (2022)
Part 6 - Scream VI (2023)

No. No it wouldn't.

Crew member sticking his head up.