AMERICAN NINJA (1985)

Exactly like Greta Garbo in GRAND HOTEL, American Ninja just wants to be left alone.  But, oh no, the bad guys can't have that.  One day American Ninja is driving a truck when his convoy (he's in the military) is attacked by ninjas!  American Ninja kicks a bunch of ass, but then when the colonel's daughter runs off in the jungle, he goes to save her. They fall in love. Aww! Stuff happens and American Ninja discovers that the ninjas who attacked his convoy actually work for an arms dealer who is in cahoots with his girlfriend's dad.  Lots of asskicking ensues including all kinds of awesome ninja stuff like throwing star fu, two sword stab fu, laser fu, electrician fu, fire fu, water hose fu, helicopter fu, motorcycle jumping fu, hook fu, chain fu, needle fu, climbing on moving truck fu, arrow fu, smoldering look fu, testicle squeezing fu, climbing fu, pointy stick fu, rock hard abs fu, disappearing fu, swing set fu, smoke bomb fu, hand signal fu, bucket on head fu, climbing over a railing after you've been shot fu, rocket launcher fu and so on.

Call me crazy, but I really liked this movie and had a lot of fun watching it.  The pace was quick and the story didn't waste any time on nonsense.  The film opens with a big fight scene and it's just nonstop action all the way through.  The best part is how the bad guys kept trying to kill American Ninja...by sending ninjas after him over and over! Yeah, the budget was kinda low and the fight scenes looked staged, but it's still a lot of fun.  AMERICAN NINJA ranks right up there with COMMANDO, PREDATOR and INVASION U.S.A. as some of the greatest 1980's action movies of all time.  Check it out!

Part 2 - American Ninja 2: The Confrontation (1987)
Part 3 - American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt (1989)
Part 4 - American Ninja 4: The Annihilation (1990)
Part 5 - American Ninja 5 (1993)

 This guy climbs over the rail and falls after he got shot.

 Ninjas have lasers now!?

SALEM'S LOT (2004)

You know the story: famous writer comes back to his hometown to confront some childhood demons concerning a creepy mansion.  While there, some vampire shenanigans pop off and he takes it upon himself to kick all of those smelly bloodsuckers in their undead nuts.

I liked this version...or, at least, the first two hours.  The introduction of the town and it's citizens is done well enough.  The story is continually moving forward, but then in the last hour, everything just putters to an end.  Like the movie itself was getting sleepy.

Dated early 2000's TV-level digital effects, steady pace, good writing despite a few plot holes (why didn't the priest recognize the homeless dude in the opening scene?), unsatisfying ending, unsatisfying looking vampires, one of the lamest boss fight in movie history, Donald Sutherland doing a Max von Sydow as Leland Gaunt impersonation(?), a Cujo reference, strong cast with good acting.

Overall, it's not a bad watch (especially for a made-for-TV movie), but I can't see any reason to watch it too often.

 

Miniseries from same source material - Salem's Lot (1979)

Sequel to original miniseries - A Return to Salem's Lot (1987)