MUTE WITNESS (1994)

A mute special effects artist from America is working on a film in Moscow.  One evening, at the end of the shooting day, she forgets something inside the rundown studio and goes back inside to get it...only to find two of the Russian crew making a snuff film!  Couldn't these guys have waited until the others were gone for like 5 minutes?!  Scared out of her wits she runs all around the studio with the two killers only a few steps behind her.  She escapes, but then things get even crazier.

I like the idea of the film and some of the suspense stuff at the beginning is fun, but after awhile it just becomes too much.  The American director is goofy to the point of being annoying and the main girl herself doesn't really seem all that traumatized by the murder she witnessed and the attempt on her life.  She lives through the opening chase scene, but once she's free she just goes back to her apartment alone and chills out in the bathtub!

Mild blood, zero gore, badly shot nudity, quick pace, Alec Guinness cameo, unrealistic characters.  MUTE WITNESS is a simple film that's completely unbelievable, but still a fun watch as long as you don't expect too much.  But do expect to make fun of that director dude.  He was an idiot.  Dude couldn't even boil water and answer the phone at the same time.  Moron.

ONCE WERE WARRIORS (1994)

[Update 05/31/2020: Would love to rewatch this film and update this review. It needs it!]

Brutal, but compelling tale of a family bullied by their alcoholic husband/father.  When he's sober (which isn't very often), he seems kinda okay, but the threat of violence and his quick temper makes him a time bomb capable of going off at any moment.  With this psychopath in charge, the entire family lives in terror and the younger children pretty much paralyzed by fear 24 hours a day.  The older children just want to escape.

The violence in ONCE WERE WARRIORS isn't for everybody, but as depressing as it is (and it is depressing), OWW isn't a total downer.  There's funny moments and while the mother, for whatever stupid fucking reason, loves her caveman husband she does possess a inner-strength that is commendable.

Strong performances by all of the leads.  Highly recommended, especially for fans of gritty dysfunctional family films.

TO ROME WITH LOVE (2012)

Boring.  After the delightful MIDNIGHT IN PARIS I had hopes that Woody was back on his A game, but no, those hopes were quickly dashed only a few minutes into this snoozer.  Set in Rome, TO ROME WITH LOVE tells four different stories...

• An average everyday guy is suddenly famous for no other reason than being famous.  His every move is scrutinized day and night and the paparazzi follow him everywhere.  How original.

• A dweeby nerd has the hots for his girlfriend's shallow best friend.  Yawn.

• A nerd is suppose to take his girlfriend on some kind of job interview/sightseeing tour/dinner party thing or something, but his gf gets lost walking to the hair salon, so he takes a prostitute instead.  At the same time, his girlfriend goes to lunch with a movie star, but ends up sleeping with a hotel burglar.  o_O

• Woody Allen and wife go to Rome to see their daughter's fiancee.  Once there Woody is impressed by the boyfriend's father's singing voice while in the shower, so he pulls some strings and gets the guy to sing on stage...in a shower.  Heh.

TRWL is Allen completely on auto-pilot.  There isn't a single funny, insightful or original moment in the entire film.  If you're a fan of Allen's then everything is gonna feel like a watered-down version of something you've already seen before.  It's as boring and lifeless as can be...but it's still light years better than that horrible MELINDA AND MELINDA.  Skip it and never look back.