MARK OF THE DEVIL (1970)

Long ago, in a town full of idiots and sadists lived the witchfinder, Albino.  For the last two years, Albino has engaged in a reign of terror, falsely accusing people of witchcraft for his own financial and sexual gains.  All of that comes crashing to an abrupt end when the prince unexpectedly sends in a new witchfinder, Lord Cumberland.  Unfortunately for the townsfolk...Cumberland is an even bigger dickneck than Albino!

Well, that sucks.  Almost as bad as this movie.  I remember seeing MARK OF THE DEVIL a few hundred years ago and thinking it sucked.  So, I watched it again for this review and it sucked even more than I remember it sucking.  It's definitely not the suckiest suck that ever did suck, it's just really boring!  The vast majority of the movie is annoyingly dubbed talking scenes and then when something finally does happen, it's either fake as hell looking or done offscreen.  Very little violence, a few lame tit scenes that were so poorly photographed that I didn't even bother taking screenshots, mannequins tied up and dropped into the fire, mediocre acting, irritating music that hurt my handsome brain, disappointing ending that made me want to dropkick the disc off the balcony.

Watch it if you want to, but I hope I never have to trudge through this snoozer ever again.  Skip it with a vengeance.

On a side note: during it's initial theatrical run, movie theaters gave out free promotional MARK OF THE DEVIL "sick bags" because the movie was supposedly so violence (I mean, it was "Rated V for Violence"!) that audience members risked barfing during the movie...if they had been more honest, they would have given out free MARK OF THE DEVIL pillows.  Amirite?  

Part 2 - Mark of the Devil Part II (1973)

Modern-day street sign covered up with a basket.

THE VOID (2016)

"We're in Hell."

Obviously inspired by films like PRINCE OF DARKNESS, THE THING, the HELLRAISER series, THE BEYOND, etc. THE VOID tells the gripping at first and then gradually less exciting story of a group of people holed up inside a small backwoods hospital.  They're surrounded by an armed group of hooded outer space worshipers, but the even bigger unknown danger lays in the basement of the hospital.  Eek!

For a low-budget horror film, THE VOID has amazing-looking special effects...I just wish the story had been more original and creepier.  Some tasty nudity wouldn't have hurt things either.

Great beginning, boring middle act, meh ending.  Awesome special effects, good acting, nice photography, lighting that was too dark, boring dialogue, great music, fair amount of blood, zero tits, zero dongs.  I liked THE VOID, it was a good time-waster, but I can't imagine wanting to watch it again soon.

Probably would have made a better novel than a movie.