VEGAS VACATION (1997)

Completely devoid of any original ideas, the writers have Clark Griswold take his family on a PG-rated trip to Las Vegas...wow, that sounds like a real laugh riot.  Once there, his wife runs off with Wayne Newton, his simpleton son accidentally becomes a high roller, his daughter becomes a go-go dancer and Clark gambles off his family savings.  Yeah, nothing funnier than a dad losing all of his family's money.  That's always good for a laugh.

In between the depressing bits about Clark's hilarious life-destroying gambling addiction, the viewer is treated to other anti-funny moments like Clark being a distracted and dangerously bad driver; the Griswold's going on a tour of Hoover Dam and the guide using the word "dam" a lot; Cousin Eddie living on an old hydrogen-bomb test site; Clark gets toilet water on his hand and the family stealing a winning keno ticket from a corpse.  All of that is just comedy gold!

Zero laughs, zero nudity, boring camerawork, completely flatline pace, meh acting.  I saw VEGAS VACATION during it's original release and thought it was surprisingly lame.  Watching it again now for this review...it's honestly even lamer than I remembered.  The only thing that I found noteworthy was that the daughter, Marisol Nichols, is now a mom on "Riverdale".  That's really not that interesting, but goddamn, I was bored senseless trying to trudge through this stinker.  It was honestly a chore.  Skip it with a vengeance and never look back.

Part 1 - National Lampoon's Vacation (1983)
Part 2 - National Lampoon's European Vacation (1985)
Part 3 - National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
Part 5 - Vacation (2015)

SUMMER OF 84 (2018)

June, 1984.  Oregon.  A suburban teenage boy begins to suspect that his neighbor, who's a cop, might actually be a serial killer.  And not just a normal serial killer, but one that preys on teenage boys.  Eek!  The suburban teenage boy recruits his friends to help him investigate.  The End.

As far as the amateur detective/suspicious neighbor/serial killer/ "Stranger Things"-wannabe subgenre goes, SUMMER OF 84 is alright.  Some of the dialogue between the boys was humorous and I like the basic story idea, but goddamn, the pace was slow as molasses and that ending was a fucking yawner!

Zero nudity, very little violence, zero surprises, zero tension, zero gore, a Bad Religion shirt, dark lighting, okay acting, various nefarious shenanigans but nothing shocking shown on screen, an Iron Maiden shirt, a strange fictionalized version of the 1980's.  I was really hoping that SUMMER OF 84 was going to be awesome, but it ended up way too lightweight and unimaginative for it's own good.  Skip it.

If you need me, I'll be in my room watching FRIGHT NIGHT.

THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD (1982)

A group of four college students agree to stay over the Christmas holiday break to help clear out furniture, trash, etc. from a large dorm that's going to be converted into an apartment building. You would think that the college would pay some professionals to do that, but whatever. I mean like isn't that some kind of insurance liability or something. Anyway, there's a murderer in their midst and he/she starts killing people immediately.  The End.

As far as early 1980's slashers flicks go, THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD was a little bit less than okay.  Sluggish pace, mild blood, okay special effects, above average musical score, one lame topless scene, low body count, the only attractive girl killed almost immediately, completely non-threatening killer that anybody who's performed 5 push-ups in the last decade could beat his/her ass, a large rainbow flag hanging on a wall (I'm not sure if the filmmakers featured it on purpose or not, but it was still nice seeing it in a film from 1982), drill to the head, illogical decisions made over and over, silly ending.

I wanted to like THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD.  That name is really catchy.  It summons up all kinds of fun ideas like wild Halloween parties and shower rooms and a masked psycho lurking in the bushes.  I know it's low budget, but I was still hoping for something like GIRLS NITE OUT or THE INITIATION or, if the movie gods were feeling especially nice, something unique and charming like THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE.  I'm always on the lookout for new slasher gems, but THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD ended up being simply average.  Just competent enough to keep me watching, but not unique enough to make me want to watch it again.  The lack of a memorable killer and fun victims really hurt the film.

Worth a watch for curious slasher fans, but most other viewers would probably find their minds drifting.