Tuesday, September 14, 2010

SUPERVAN (1977)

Van culture, huh? Never heard of it, but I guess back in the 70's people customized their vans and par-tayed.

SUPERVAN is the heartwarming story about a guy who's heading over to "Freak Out 76", which is a gathering of van enthusiasts who gather together and get fucked up. There's also a contest for the best van and this dude wants to win! While driving there he talks CB lingo to the point that I was wishing for subtitles just to figure out what's going on. He hears that a girl is getting raped at a junkyard so he rescues her, but during the getaway he accidentally drives his van onto a compactor.

The loss of his van isn't a big deal though because his mad scientist friend just completed "Vandora" a supervan that can drive fast and shoot lasers! A Smokey tries to stop him so he sends out a sonic wave that blows up the choppers radio. Thrilling.

Finally they get to the big Freak Out and they weren't lying cause there's some freaky, unwashed, fucked up, burned out motherfuckers up in this motherfucker including a cameo by a completely wasted Charles Bukowski spraying down women in a wet t-shirt contest!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF? Let that sink in: I'm sitting here watching a retarded movie about a "super" van when suddenly from out of nowhere one of the greatest writers of all time just wanders onscreen while spraying down chicks with a water hose! What a weird world we live in.

The main guy takes part in some exciting van competitions like driving your van 10 feet up a hill. Vandora wins the grand prize, but that pisses off a evil van modifying corporation so then there's a police chase and laser shooting.

If you're into van modifying or bizarre 70's cinema then check it out. Others will probably do best staying away. Zero tits, lame van chases, lots of weird paintings, lots of chicks with funky 70's bodies, futuristic sound effects when Vandora is onscreen, hippies, filmed on location in Missouri!
Charles Bukowski!!!!! What the fuck??!!!!