Tuesday, November 30, 2010

SAVE THE TIGER (1973)

Jack Lemmon is a man pushed to the edge. He's a WWII vet haunted with the guilt of being alive when so many of his buddies died. What did he do with his life? The life that his buddies didn't get to live. Did he become a baseball player like he so innocently dreamed of as a child? Did he find a woman who would fill his life with love and happiness? No, he started a clothing factory, a pretty successful one, but now due to some financial acrobatics he's secretly broke and unless he comes up with a whole lot of money before the IRS audits him he's gonna go to jail, his factory closed and everybody put out of a job. But that's not all of his problems.

The first few times I saw SAVE THE TIGER I knew it was a great film, but it wasn't until the third time that I realized that it was a masterpiece. Billy Wilder was obviously smarter than me cause the first time he saw it it said "There's only one problem with that movie: I didn't direct it." That's a hell of a compliment coming from a master like Wilder, but I'm actually happy that he didn't direct this film because it's absolutely perfect the way it is. I think with his name attached the studios would have raised the budget and interfered too much. As it was the budget was only a million dollars and that budget restraint actually helped the film, I think, because it forced the filmmakers (kinda like the Hays Code back in the late 1930's) to become more creative, not in a moral sense, but in a artistic sense to make the film completely 100% off of the studio lot and out on the streets with regular buildings using real people in the background and normal street noises and natural lighting. It doesn't even feel like you're watching a movie, but almost like you secretly peaking into people's private lives filled with hidden demons, false faces and very real fears.

I cannot recommend this movie enough (if you like good movies). It's my 373rd review on Happyotter, but only the 3rd movie that I've added to my Best Movies List. It really is that good. Jack Lemmon gives one of the best performances in the history of cinema and director John G. Avildsen would go on to direct ROCKY and THE KARATE KID. Highly recommended, especially if you're interested in learning how to make movies.

[SPOILER!!!] I've heard some people question the title, SAVE THE TIGER. During one scene a man mentions that there's only a 500 or so tiger left in the world. They are a dying breed. Later the young woman Myra mentions that tigers are known to return to a place of beauty and that's how hunters capture (or kill) them. At one point Lemmon looks at a poster of a tiger and his reflection is cast in the glass. Lemmon is a dying breed and it is only when he's alone or relaxed that he starts dreaming of playing baseball when he was a child. At the end of the movie after he tells the arsonist to never mention his partner he goes to the park to watch the children playing baseball. He is returning to a place of beauty because he knows that his days are numbered and if the police don't get him or the IRS don't get him that his mind is finally going to crack from all of the pressure/guilt.

That's at least my take on the title.

Monday, November 29, 2010

NIGHT OF THE DEMONS (2009)

How can they fuck up a movie with Shannon Elizabeth wearing goth clothes?

How much you dislike or straight up hate this movie will probably depend on how much you like or love the original NIGHT OF THE DEMONS from 1988. Personally I think remaking NIGHT OF THE DEMONS is blasphemy, but still I went into it with an open mind hoping for the best. And was it better than the original? Not even close! To be fair though this film isn't even a true remake: outside of the title, an old creepy house with demons in it and a 5 second cameo by Linnea Quigley this movie has very little to do with the original. Pretty much nothing. It didn't even have the "Eat a bowl of fuck!" line in it for (bowl of) fuck's sake.

Seven annoying butthones (who couldn't die fast enough) get locked in a old abandoned mansion on Halloween night then finally after 30 minutes of boring build up the demons attack and it's actually entertaining! Not because the story or the shitty special effects are any good, but because Edward Furlong goes absolutely nuts and starts screaming obscenities almost nonstop. He actually had one of the most realistic reactions to seeing a demon that I've ever seen in a movie: he freaks the fuck out and runs out of the room screaming "Shit, shit, shit shit!!!".  Which is pretty much what I would do in the same situation. If the rest of the movie had been as funny as those few minutes this would have been a much better movie.  Instead with soulless writing, very little gore, cheesy (in a bad way) action, annoying cast (except for Furlong's overacting), music video stylizing overdose and zero respect given to the original, I say fuck this stinker and just watch the original again.

If you need me I'll be in my room praying to Satan that nobody thinks of remaking NIGHT OF THE CREEPS.

Original Part 1 - Night of the Demons (1988)
Original Part 2 - Night of the Demons 2 (1994)
Original Part 3 - Night of the Demons III (1997)

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

PREDATORS (2010)

Twenty years from now people will still be talking about how badass the original PREDATOR was. Twenty weeks from now nobody will remember PREDATORS was even made.

Eight hunters from Earth are kidnapped and dropped off in a huge rain forest planet where three Predators hunt them. The End. That's about it. Whatever you're imagining happened during the hunt is probably better than what actually happened. And I'm completely serious about that too because I've read fan fiction online that had a better story than this lazy, predictable snoozer.

I had high hopes for this movie, since I love the original so much, but after watching it I found the entire thing so soulless and bland that I don't even know what to say about it. It's boring and it sucked. That about sums it up. Skip it with a vengeance.

I also really disliked all the little winks to the original (minigun, "ugly motherfucker", Little Richard song). How about skip trying to be clever and instead concentrate on making a fucking movie with some actual tension and adding depth to the characters so the audience might actually give a fuck if they die or not?

I would have been interested to see what Chan-wook Park or Jee-woon Kim could have done with this story.

Monday, November 22, 2010

SPLICE (2009)

This movie could have gone one of two ways: the sex comedy (think REPLI-KATE); the high road about scientists creating a human/animal hybrid then debating a lot about the moral ramifications of human cloning/DNA splicing or the low road where a team of scientists decide to remake PROJECT: METALBEAST and create a monster for no other reason than to kill everyfuckingbody in gruesome ways! Sadly SPLICE goes the high road route and all of the killing and murdering and human/duck-billed platypus/giraffe/goldfish/cockroach/hummingbird/unicorn/chameleon/octopus monster bathing in human entrails never happens. That doesn't mean SPLICE isn't a good movie though, just a mildly interesting then boring one.

Genetic engineers Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley secretly create a funky looking creature from a bunch of different animals. It's very cute at first. I just wanted to hug it! Then it quickly grows up into a freaky woman creature that just hangs around all day doing nothing. Finally towards the end of movie it finally freaks out and wrecks some shit, but by this point I'd already let out a few really loud yawns that made my cats laugh.

I appreciate the filmmakers trying to make an intelligent horror film, but sometimes the audience just wants a bunch of blood and guts. Worth watching if it comes on cable or something, but I wouldn't waste my time renting it.

[Minor SPOILER ahead!] The scene where Adrien Brody had sex with Dren was silly and completely unbelievable. I mean, just a few weeks earlier she was some formless Chicken McNugget-looking blob and he even tried to kill her now just suddenly BAM! he's down to fuck? It don't buy it.  It would have been more believable if Dren had escaped (with a wig) then came across some drunk hunter in the woods or something. Even better yet, when she was still very young looking have her kidnapped by a psychotic child molester who rapes her then before he knows it she grows up, changes into a dude and pumps him in the butt! That would have been more exciting than her hanging around a barn for half the film.
Gettin' some of that mutant pussy!