Sunday, January 2, 2011

EBOLA SYNDROME (1996)

This movie is fucking nuts! Anthony Wong gets caught banging his gangster boss' wife, so they beat him up, force her to urinate on demand on his face then tell him to castrate himself. He takes the clippers and starts beating the shit out of everybody: busting out one guy's teeth, stabbing another dude in the dick then finally chopping of the woman's tongue. He goes on the run to South Africa where he gets a job as a cook and continues to be a scumbag: spits in people's food, masturbates into meat, kills people, rapes people, rips out a chick's eyeball, stabs another dude in the eye with a fork. Finally his evil ways catch up to him when he rapes a dying Zulu woman and catches Ebola! As luck with have it the Ebola doesn't kill him just makes him even fucking crazier! Next thing you know he's back in Hong Kong, crazy as fuck and spreading Ebola around like wildfire...he even at one point runs down the street spitting blood in people's faces while yelling "E-bowl-i!!! E-bowl-i!!!!" It's fucking great and I laughed for days afterwards.

This movie is a masterpiece of political incorrectness. There's tons of mean-spirited raping, killing, hatred, racial slurs, bigotry, chicken murders, cussing and child killing. It's fucking great. If I was rich I'd buy the rights, write a script for a sequel myself, pay Anthony Wong to star in it, director Herman Yau to direct it then put it out myself. I'd probably make at least negative 10 million dollars or so, but it'd be worth every penny.

The DVD I used for this review has a great looking picture. Way better than I thought I'd ever see it. I first saw EBOLA on VHS years ago, then I bought a bootleg DVD that's has a horribly wonderful shitty picture and the crappiest double subtitles ever plus a double audio track!!!!!!! That's right two grainy subtitles plus two separate audio tracks both in some fucking languages I can't understand it! It's terrible but somehow added to the wackiness of the movie. Whenever I show this movie to friends I actually use the crappy DVD instead of the beautiful looking one because you can't help but laugh nonstop. I would love to take screenshots, but it's so shitty I can't even get it to work on my computer.

If you love wild, unique movies then check out EBOLA SYNDROME. It's not a masterpiece of film making, but it's damn sure entertaining. "E-bowl-i!!! E-bowl-i!!!!"

EBOLA SYNDROME Drinking Game:
  • Every time Anthony says "bully" or "betrayal"
  • Every time somebody says "Ebola"
  • Whenever Anthony rapes or kills somebody