I enjoy quirky, little slice of life documentaries like this. This time
around, the slice of life featured is a "hands on a hard body" contest
staged by a car dealership in Longview, Texas in 1995. Now a hands on a
hard body competition (as far as this film goes) is where a group of
contestants (24 in this case) all start out at the same time with one hand
placed on a vehicle. There's certain rules on how you must stand,
regulated bathroom breaks, etc., but the main objective is: whoever can stand
there the longest, without taking their hand off the vehicle..wins the whip. It's honestly a fascinating idea. Standing there is
obviously boring and sucks, but the main thing that fucks people up is the
lack of sleep! These motherfuckers all started out at the beginning of
the film talking about their grand ideas and full-proof plans of how they're
going to win, but then fast-forward 30+ hours later and they're dropping like
flies. It was awesome.
Another thing that makes this film stand out (in a good way) is how amateurish
and rough around the edges it looks. I have no idea what the story is
behind this film (I would love to see a full-length
documentary about HANDS ON A HARD BODY itself), but it appears to have
been filmed for about the cost of a camera or two, some sound equipment and
then editing. It's rough as hell, but that only adds to the reality and
desperation of the characters in the film. I really don't understand why
there hasn't been a follow-up to this movie. Hell, I want a 6-hour
documentary about that dude with the industrial air condition unit on his
house!
Could it have been better? Oh god yeah. But is it still worth
watching? Most definitely! The only real drawback I found to HANDS
ON A HARD BODY is it leaves you with more questions than answers and you'll
end up finding yourself wasting numerous hours doing online searches and
literally daydreaming about the film! I found myself recently trying to
figure out a way to write a fiction story about a hands on a hard body
contest, like the one in this film, but one of the characters was actually an
assassin using the competition as a cover to kill somebody at the car
dealership!
