Saturday, January 25, 2014
YOU'RE NEXT (2011)
Zero nudity, blood that made me want to go eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich...mmmmm strawberry, zero gore, inept killers, zero scares, dozens of tired horror movie cliches, killer under the bed (twice), HOME ALONE-style booby traps, orange blood, logic out the window, innocent mask head tilt, hipsters, running back into danger, seeing a booby trap and still somehow stepping into it, flashing light, cop shooting the wrong person, annoying music and quite possibly the most unstable camera of all time. CLOVERFIELD looks like an Ozu movie compared to this seasick turkey.
I'm sure if you look hard enough there's some positives in YOU'RE NEXT, but I still can't see any reason why you should watch it. My friend who brought this over to watch actually apologized after it was over...and he slept through half of it!